*sigh .. * Another one who won't read.

This is a modest *cough* fella who thinks anyone receiving this will be thoroughly impressed, and just falling all over herself to catch him.
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Mail from jeffmaximas (02/29/08 @ 02:31)
Subject: Hello
Message:
My name is Jeffrey Maximas, I am an attractive and charismatic (more...) (more...)guy . I am part Italian and part Spanish. I speak several languages because of family origin, as well as frequent trips to various destinations worldwide..mostly business...some pleasure. I am easy going and family oriented. I am very funny in an unusual way...or so I've been told. I am very romantic, spontaneous, and passionate. I like to experience/learn different cultures. I almost forgot...I am a very good dancer.
I must admit that I find you very attractive. However, I would like to get to know more about the person that you are on the inside.I would like to establish a friendship to see if you have a future as companions and husband and wife. I am looking forward to chatting with you in the near future. I would consider it an honor if you would take a moment to review my profile
I am looking forward to your response in the near future.
Please take very good care of yourself. we can have a chat on yahoo *masager(emphasis mine): jeffmaximas@yahoo.com or jeffmaximas@live.com
Respectfully yours,jeffrey maximasjeffmaximas@yahoo.com
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.. oh HOW can I possibly resist such charm? Mercy.

What amuses me is how he managed to spell just about everything else right, and totally mangle the word "messenger".
* ... "masager"????

... something about that pic.

Come on, it's an Elmer Fudd hat, and I look about as seductive as a mildewy faucet! Yet I'm still getting mush ~
---------------------------------------
From: cscp195637
Subject: Hi Cutie
Message:
Hi Dear I'm Mark from San Diego,California and i'm a geologist.I have been a widow for 7 years and i have a son who his 13YRS and he live in U-k. i was going through profiles on here looking for a better match for me and i found your profile and i liked it.I want to have more conversation with you and see what life as for us this time dear, well you might think there is a great distant btw us that doesn't matter but for me choiceing you as my best match matters most and i'm a geologist i travel alot and i'm gonna get retire soon,i can travel to any lenght just to make my self happy and i think this gonna make me happy for sure. i ll be looking forward to hear back from you take care,you can as well contact me at my email address markjohnson_05@yahoo.com.Thanks Mark.
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Yawh-HOOOOOoooooooOOOOHHH!!

.... and howcome the majority of these people have such atrocious English skills? You'd think a geologist from San Diego would have a slightly better command of his language.

Wow, I'm more popular with that pic!

Well, that new pic of mine seems to be irresistible! *LOL* .. how can anybody possibly expect others to take seriously this drivel they're sending?
--------------------------------
From: cscp195566
Subject: Hi
Message:
hello how are you doing today. My name is william....i am single never married....i just broke up with my ex and right now am looking on to making friends...real good friends....hmmm i will say am also searching for the right person buit i wouldnt say am despirately searching....i am into supplies...i do leather supplies and i travel most of the time when am out of stuck....i travel to Italy or Africa to get my supplies do tell me about you...what is it you want in life and how is life treating you presently...do you travel?..for me travelling is fun and i only get that chance when am to fetch for leathers..I love swimming,Handball,reading and Volleyball....the best of all is swimming. dont let me say all here will be nice to chat more about it when you get online. it will good to read back from you mush care William. you can add me now williamben_222
--------------------------------
It's so 'pat' and alike to scads of other messages, I had to go through the earlier ones to see if it was a repeat!

OH NOooooooo .... *does not compute*

Right. Mr."All About the Love", whom I thought was copacetic with my position, has apparently mistaken my correspondence for INTEREST. *DUH!* .. what part of "I'm not here for more than friends, but I hope you find your special lady. Best wishes." .. did he not understand??Was it just that I didn't stop there, and responded to his statement "if you dont mind having a prayer partner or a friend"? .. anyway, now he's off his rocker. Read the last one... Ya, folx ~ I guess I'm movin' to Maryland. NOT!!..... oh, and there's that YAHOO address again. I shoulda known.What IS it with people?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ READ, WILL YA???!!
2008-02-19
From:cscp193129
Subject:Hi
Message:
Hello Dearest, I wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you today and hoping the day brings many wonderful things your way,a hug, a warm touch,kind words, a smile,and all the things that make life worthwhile.Have a wonderful day angel. Samuel cares!
----------------------------
From: cscp******
Subject: thank you
Message:
I'm not here for more than friends, but I hope you find your special lady. Best wishes.
----------------------------
From: cscp193129
Subject: Hi
Message:
Sis, Calvary greetings to you in the name of our Lord Jesus.How are you doing today and thanks for writing back.I wish you the best in life too and i will like to know if you dont mind having a prayer partner or a friend whom we can share the word of the Lord in togetherness.Hoping to read from you again.Have a blessed day in Christ Jesus. Samuel
----------------------------
From: cscp******
Subject: hi Samuel
Message:
it's unusual to have a 'friend' here, but that's why I signed on: sometimes Christian people just want a safe place to share their thoughts when others around them can't listen for whatever reason. Have a great day and feel free to ask sometime for an extra ear. Kim
----------------------------
From: cscp193129
Subject: Angel
Message:
Thanks for the wonderful mail Kim,i will be glad if you can send a recen picture of yours to my email,hypertech1977@yahoo.com. Hoping to read from you soonest,have a blessed day. Samuel
----------------------------
From: cscp******
Subject: pic ..
Message:
the picture on my profile here is fairly recent, within the past few months. Kim
----------------------------
2008-02-27
From: cscp193129
Subject: Angel
Message:
Kim, Good morning.You look so gorgeous and i cant wait any longer to meet you in person.Kindly mail me on hypertech1977@yahoo.com and we can talk and chat better.Where do you live and were you born in this planet earth???? Lots Of Love and Kisses Samuel
----------------------------
Sent To: cscp193129
Subject: hi Samuel
Message:
whoops, I wonder if there's a misunderstanding here. I'm getting the impression you may be seeking more with me than just friends, because I hadn't counted on meeting ~ besides, what are you going to do, come to where I live? I don't mind keeping in touch here to support one another as friends in God, but that's all it is for me, and I wouldn't want to mislead you into anything else. Saying I'm so gorgeous is flattering, but in this case I'm sorry it's not really applicable. I already have a nice gentleman companion in my city, and I am on this site ONLY for online friends to say 'hi' to sometimes. Please accept my apologies if you perceived my greetings any other way; I didn't intend to offer a relationship or personal meeting. God bless, Kim
----------------------------
I think I worded that nicely enough, but I'm starting to wonder if I'll end up with some psycho guy. He wanted pictures. There is one on the profile. He wanted me to email him on his yahoo address. I didn't, and I bet he'll be one unhappy camper, but maybe it'll stop now...... (holds breath)

Hahaa.. I've just uploaded THIS pic, because it's one of my worst. I had the flu and felt utterly miserable.
If I get gooey emails from THAT ONE, those fellas are truly disturbed.

nooooooo ... I got *SPAMMED* .. eek

Okay THIS is just SHAMELESS and TACKY.
-----------------------------
2008-02-21
From: cscp195506
Subject: Hi
Message:
*ACCESS LIMIT FINANCIAL COMPANY US Office: 8030 Banville Drive,Jacksonville Florida. 32210.USA. Tel:+1-206-350-6613 Fax:+1-206-202-4874 Netherland Office: P. O. Box 234,301 West Main Street, New Holland, PA 17557 Tel: +34-717-355-2650 * Email:accesslimit.financial@gmail.com or access2063506613@safe-mail.net * FINANCIAL PROGRAM(LOAN)** *You can get any type of loan from us and we give it out with little or no interest rate,we are located in United State Of America with other annex in three other countries. This are the types of loan oppurtunity you can benefit from us. * *** Individual Loan *Company Loan *Student Loan *Church Loan *Hospital Loan E.T.C** *YOU CAN GET ATLEAST A LOAN OF $5000 TO THE SUM OF $3,000,000.00 HERE COME FOR YOUR LOAN APPLICATION FORM TODAY AND YOU WILL BE GLAD YOU DID ** *Mrs Carmella Martin(Company Directoress)*

This guy is all about the love ...

Not that there's anything wrong with 'the love' .. but what does he want?
-------------------
2008-02-19
From:cscp******
Subject:Hi
Message:
Hello Dearest, I wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you today and hoping the day brings many wonderful things your way,a hug, a warm touch,kind words, a smile,and all the things that make life worthwhile.Have a wonderful day angel. Samuel cares!
-------------------
I did write back, just to say I'm here for friends but I hope you meet your special lady. It seemed rude to not at least say something, seeing as how he was so harmlessly affectionate, including my favourite salutation, "Dearest"!! ... *ugh*.

Oh well, he's probably the tamest, I can live with that.

Sorry, what was that? I didn't get it the first time ..

Talk about repeat offender? This guy literally repeats himself.
I was not going to post this letter because when I got it yesterday, it seemed just a sincere message from a person who apparently meant well, but toward whom I simply had no pull.
However .. I'm sitting here, head tilted, baffled at how utterly oblivious some people can be. Did he not happen to notice he was emailing the same person the very next day, with the word-for-word same text? .. not only that, but it's the verbatim in his profile.
----------------------
Date: 2008-02-17
From: cscp193000
Subject: GOD BLESS YOU
Message:
Hello People of God, How are you doing? I hope everything is fine, well; I'm a single young man. I just wanted to let you know the kind of person I am, I am a man that is in need of real and perfect love, I need a woman that can take me through, see, I have been hurt so many times by different women and wouldn't want that to happen to me again...that's the reason why I said that I need love.... I am far from a millionaire and am not out for anything but love from someone. Having someone that loves you and supports me in my life through good and bad times and won't give up on me is what I am looking for. Honesty and trust are what makes a relationship work. I prefer to watch a movie or attend the theater rather than read a novel. I also enjoy travel, experiencing different geographies and people. I do not smoke. do drink on social occasions.... well concerning sexuality; I am not a promiscuous man. My desire is to be sexually faithful to the woman I will marry. If two people love each other and will communicate they like and do not like about their partner's sexual behavior, I believe many problems can be resolvedMoreover, I am currently working on my own cos I had to try something else after I lost almost all I had to my last relationship I just finish the Pastoral school as a Pastor ...it is a nice thing to serve God , I need real love. I don't play games and isn't ready to be played. Distance is not a problem. If I find the right WOMAN. I don't mind relocating... I have relocated before when I was in love. I don't mind doing it again as long as I find the right woman. I am a very honest and truthful man. I hate lies and deceit. I want real love... I am getting too old to play games. I am a very busy one...lol. Very independent, what do u does for fun? What are your favorite dishes...? Thanks and may Almighty God be with you Amen. Best regard Anthony
----------------------

Date: 2008-02-17
From: cscp****** (me)
Subject: Best Wishes
Message:
God bless you too as you search; I don't feel an attraction but thank you for writing.
----------------------

Date: 2008-02-18 (.. uhm, OK?!??)
From: cscp193000
Subject: GOD BLESS YOU
Message:
Hello People of God, How are you doing? I hope everything is fine, well; I'm a single young man. I just wanted to let you know the kind of person I am, I am a man that is in need of real and perfect love, I need a woman that can take me through, see, I have been hurt so many times by different women and wouldn't want that to happen to me again...that's the reason why I said that I need love.... I am far from a millionaire and am not out for anything but love from someone. Having someone that loves you and supports me in my life through good and bad times and won't give up on me is what I am looking for. Honesty and trust are what makes a relationship work. I prefer to watch a movie or attend the theater rather than read a novel. I also enjoy travel, experiencing different geographies and people. I do not smoke. I do drink on social occasions.... well concerning sexuality; I am not a promiscuous man. My desire is to be sexually faithful to the woman I will marry. If two people love each other and will communicate what they like and do not like about their partner's sexual behavior, I believe many problems can be resolved. Moreover, I am currently working on my own cos I had to try something else after I lost almost all I had to my last relationship I just finish the Pastoral school as a Pastor ...it is a nice thing to serve God , I need real love. I don't play games and isn't ready to be played. Distance is not a problem. If I find the right WOMAN. I don't mind relocating... I have relocated before when I was in love. I don't mind doing it again as long as I find the right woman. I am a very honest and truthful man. I hate lies and deceit. I want real love... I am getting too old to play games. I am a very busy one...lol. Very independent, what do u does for fun? What are your favorite dishes...? Thanks and may Almighty God be with you Amen. Best regard Anthony
----------------------
OY!!! ... evidently he thinks if he sends the exact same message to me again I will send a different response. *sigh* .. the definition of insanity.