MORONLINE: my "Culprit Collection"

2010-04-28T13:57:00.000-07:00

Now I'm being wooed by a prince.
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Mail from prince22love (28/04/10 @ 15:54)

Subject: helo

Message:
Calvary greetings,
How are you doing, my name is Prince , i'm from marseille france , waiting to hear from you soon
Remain bless
Prince.
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.. if he's wealthy, it's not in information!
I'm supposed to be interested in him because he lives in France. Where does he imagine we're gonna meet?

Uhm ... Dude has deja vu?

2010-03-05T19:11:00.001-08:00

"Mail from reallover (23/01/10 @ 19:08)
Subject: Hi Message: Hello greetings from Ken..........how are you doing?....i hope you are fine...? I am ken by name am a widower with no kids...lost my wife 2yrs ago...and since then i haven't been into any relationship...i am a kind of man that is young at heart and fun to be with.i am not the controlling type.and am very honest in all i do.i work as a petrol chemical engineer.,and i am living alone. i saw you profile and that's why i am writing you. I am looking for a loving woman who is his honest and ready for a serious relationship.i am ready to relocate for that special woman if i meet her......i hope you are that woman. i would like to hear from you and see what you think about all this....?you can write me back on my private email.....smithken10@yahoo.com Regards Ken"
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He just SENT that a couple days ago.
... or should I say "it" just sent that?
:-)

2010-01-29T20:05:00.000-08:00

".... they're ba-a-a-a-a-ack..."
Yes, the Yahoos have returned.
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Mail from reallover (23/01/10 @ 19:08)

Subject: Hi Message: Hello greetings from Ken..........how are you doing?....i hope you are fine...? I am ken by name am a widower with no kids...lost my wife 2yrs ago...and since then i haven't been into any relationship...i am a kind of man that is young at heart and fun to be with.i am not the controlling type.and am very honest in all i do.i work as a petrol chemical engineer.,and i am living alone. i saw you profile and that's why i am writing you. I am looking for a loving woman who is his honest and ready for a serious relationship.i am ready to relocate for that special woman if i meet her......i hope you are that woman. i would like to hear from you and see what you think about all this....?you can write me back on my private email.....smithken10@yahoo.com

Why don't they pay attention .. sigh

2009-11-26T23:57:00.000-08:00

If these guys put half as much effort into READING as they do into WRITING, they'd save themselves years. ------------------------------
Message: Hello!! How are you, I must say you look very pretty and I like you, Do you mind we become friends and get to know each other well? Please if you don't mind am looking forward to read a line or two from you OK.. Thanks and have the most precious day/night. stay blessed. BC------------------------------ Come on, fellas. You can do better than this! Why not pick a woman who's actually LOOKING for a partner? Sheeeesh!

2009-09-17T21:30:00.000-07:00

Methinx same package in different wrapper, no?
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Mail from t12 (18/09/09 @ 02:39)

Subject: HI

Message:
How are you doing today?
U got a nice pics on here and a nice profile....i would be happy if could be friends or some thing on here u got my attention this evenning with your beautiful profile.
Let me know if you would be on line so we can chat more now? here is my IM do add me up so we could chat:
COLE.TERRY91@yahoo.com
I will be rite here hoping to read your mail....thanks and God bless.
TERRY.-------------------------------------------------------------------
I notice the '12' in the username, which, coupled with the less-common name "Terry" might lead one to suspect a second attempt. He likes my 'pictures' but I have only ONE picture, and he has completely overlooked the flat-out REJECTION OF DATING SITUATION statement I keep making.

BOT.
.. *sigh* .. a bot by any other name is still a YAHOO.

Thomeone'th got a lithp?

2009-09-15T16:41:00.000-07:00

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Mail from b12 (16/09/09 @ 00:33)

Subject: Hello Beloveth Message: I am Terry from New york i am a vry intrested on your profile and your pics..i think you will be a nice perosn to meet..please i would b grateful if we can get quainted on here see if we can get to meet..Thanks for reading my mail and God Bless, Terry.-----------------------------------------------------------
... beloveth?

I rest my case ~ bot city.

2009-07-18T09:12:00.000-07:00

He thinks writing from the UK will make people think he's British. Hmmmm.
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Mail from markjones12 (18/07/09 @ 14:32)

Subject: DEARLY BELOVED.I AM INTERESTED IN YOU Message: DEARLY BELOVED i am mark from uk.i am written you in good faith and positive heart.as i am a single father of a daugter.i am written you in regard the fact i am single now.and i will love you to know you and i will be praying that this bring to the end of my search. Here is my id markjones7714@yahoo.com. i pray that you have the same heart as i do.i will be waitin for ur reply. Remain blessed from mark------------------------------------------------------------------
.. after I clicked 'No Thanks', I thought about maybe writing and saying I clicked the wrong button; I meant to click 'reply'. Hmmm. Ladies & Gentlemen, shall I?

No excuses!!

2009-07-09T10:54:00.000-07:00

This is indisputable, solid proof they either don't read my profile, or don't care what it says. I do realize the emails are generated by employees of a scamming operation. I know if they don't get a response from me, they just move onto the next address.
Still, it's pathetic, ya know! Trying to take advantage of lonely people is just disgusting. If I replied to any of these guys, they would follow it up with increasingly more lovey-dovey messages, attempting to 'sweeten the pot' and eventually start claiming financial need.

Maybe I should just let one think I'm interested ... Hmmm... just to see how far they take it; will they request money?
DUH.
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Mail from felix15012 (09/07/09 @ 18:50)

Subject: fellylove_nelson@yahoo.com Message: fellylove_nelson@yahoo.com My name is Felix,i saw your profile today (fusion101.com) and became intrested in you,i will also like to know you the more,and i want you to send an email to my email address so i can give you my picture for you to know whom i am. Here is my email address (fellylove_nelson@yahoo.com) I believe we can move from here! I am waiting for your mail to my email address above. Felix. Remeber the distance or colour does not matter but love matters alots,this my email address(fellylove_nelson@yahoo.com).------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is my profile blurb, updated to inform these people of why I'm on that site:
"I AM HERE FOR FRIENDS ONLY.
I keep getting mail from men who tell me they have seen my profile, love it, and want to connect romantically with me.
If you DO read the profile, you will see that
I AM HERE FOR FRIENDS ONLY.
I am not seeking a partner, a husband, a lover, etc. I just want platonic buddies.

I ALREADY HAVE SOMEONE AT HOME, and I AM HERE FOR FRIENDS ONLY.
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If you email me anyway, looking for love, I will send a 'No Thank You" letter, and/or block you.

You have been warned."
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So .. after having worded it this way, I still receive this sort of mail, I have NO SYMPATHY for the dudes.

What? No Yahoo address?!

2009-07-03T10:29:00.000-07:00

Uniquely for me, I guess, even if he obviously hasn't read the profile.
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Mail from kr (03/07/09 @ 18:00)

Subject: hi Message: HELLO, ricky is my name,am a 45 yr old engineer living in UK and am single too.i saw your profile,read it loved it and wish to know you more and see Gods will for us and our future.thanks and have a nice weekend as i await your reply.stay bless in jesus name amen. REGARDS, rICKY---------------------------------------------
.... oh wait: that's not unique. Nobody pays attention to the profile. What was I thinking?

Again, someone does not read.

2009-06-22T22:31:00.000-07:00

I wonder how many guys get anywhere on that site. This one must have been striking out over and over, so he's getting desperate enough to ignore the profile ...
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Mail from Mightytosave (23/06/09 @ 06:24)

Subject: hello,can we? Message: hello pretty I’m not looking for someone for marriage, I’m looking for potential - someone to spend the rest of my life with joy and accomplishement and having viewed your profile, I do believe you are my type of woman.What would work best for me are shared core values and attitudes, sufficient goals and interests in common, an ability to expand each other's worlds (via our differences) and a partner with a terrific sense of humour. I live a responsible christain life and the same in a partner is essential to me.I’m passionate about a lot of things the environment, dancing, cooking, mountain sunsets, Columbia County and most animals (especially Dogs- not to mention the skunk and the woodchuck in my brush pile upstate). The Slow Food approach to eating is becoming of increasingly attractive, and learning to meditate in the word of God day and night.I dont fansy the proud and takes exception to that. christ is humble and humility should be embraced by my ideal woman. if you do think you can get along, then write me through my yahoo inbox..div7711@yahoo.com. keep smiling...... Divine------------------------------------------------------------
... "Divine"???? OY.

Nice or not .. READWILLYA

2009-05-21T11:06:00.000-07:00

What I don't get is this: if they didn't look at my profile, where do they get the idea I have these virtues, and if they do see it ~ and my *lovely* (NOT) pic, why waste their time?
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Mail from c_d (21/05/09 @ 11:33)

Subject: hello Message: Am C R,I am a single with one child name Johny.I am a honest, kind, sincere man who is understanding.Am fair in complexion and am a little bit tall. I am romantic, loving, caring, focus, hard working and a nice gentleman.Kindly tell more about your self too With Love C.
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... boggles the mind.

2009-05-14T20:49:00.000-07:00

Yikes, talk about laying it on THICK!!! ......*EW*.
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Mail from fredfaith1119 (15/05/09 @ 04:44)

Subject: hi Message: ....to have ctually found such a quality person on here! I was just about to give up, didn't think if was possible. This profile of yours is just about the most amazing thing I have ever read, and I think we have so much in common. I don't know what your ideal is as far as physical appearance and attributes, or even if you have any preferences, but I would love to chat with you sometime to get to know each other. I think it would be mutually satisfying, based on your honesty about what you like to do and who you are as a person (yes of course I could tell ALL that from your profile) And I would be more than happy to email you my pics,I look forward to hearing from you sometime!Til then, take care,---------------------------------------------
Sorry my fine fella, no reada da profile, no maka de friend.

Earnestly Long-Winded ..

2009-05-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

Wow .. this one spent so much time & energy on his own outgo, he didn't have any left to see his target properly.
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Mail from heavenlysmile00 (14/05/09 @ 16:21)

Subject: Hello Message: just came across your profile and i would really love to know you more..I have a very curious nature. I have a love of animals, nature,to travel the world, long walks and sunsets. Reading, singing,shopping, and antiquing are some of my hobbies. My commitment to God is very important to me, as well as personal growth. I'm happiest outdoors and try to eat mostly healthful foods(operative word..mostly) I walk daily(former runner)and try to stay active and put into practice the precepts and tenets of my Christian faith. I'm content with the possessions that I have and try to focus on how fortunate that I am to exist in a peace and security that most on the planet would consider heaven. Consideration is a foremost value that I try to show, and seek in others. Also, necessary for a successful relationship. I'm usually a positive soul, so I appreciate when someone can take the high road when the low road seems the easier path. Laughter and spirited banter can add spice to any relationship, so I'd like that in a romance. I'd like to achieve an intimate friendship that respectful and trusting of personal independence. One that seeks not to control, but sees the goodness of mutuality and compromise, and one that's based on objective values. She would be kind, forgiving, patient, energetic, compassionate, practical, and...considerate. I'm a lad who takes his health seriously, and would like to meet that special woman who thinks similarly about theirs.. both physical and spiritual. Of course there's much more to me, and I would be willing to share it with you if you're interested. I wish you well on life's journey, and success in your search for love.I see myself as a compassionate, sensitive, giving, person who finds a great sense of humor very attractive. Honesty and integrity are important to me, and I find communication is the backbone of any relationship. I'm considerate and very affectionate, honest, and I try to be a good listener. I'm not perfect by any means, but, I do try hard. I'm a very romantic person, who enjoys giving and receiving affection and passion to the special person in my life. I love to cuddle and hold hands, and believe that kissing is a beautiful way to express ones desire and intimate feelings towards their partner. I too, love all the things that people write about. Full moons, sunsets, romantic walks at the beach. Actually, doing anything with the right person can be enjoyable. As we all know, it's not the activity, but the company, that matters. At this stage of ours lives, there's no time for games and dishonesty... I have a 8yrs old daughter and she means the whole world to me..i lost her mum 3years ago in car accident and i hope to find that special to make me and my daughter complete again...am new to this internet dating stuff and i just want to find my woman and get off and i will you could be the one cause you have all the qualities am looking for in my woman...I dont come on here much often and i would really appreciate if you can write me on my personal email on pancelotti111@yahoo.com so we can share pictures and also get to know more about each other..i hope to hear from you soon and have a nice day and God bless Regards Ancelotti Philips---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes I feel a bit guilty about cutting these guys off at the pass, but if they don't READ THE PROFILE, they're wasting their own time. However, this is probably just a bulk opener and I'm just a number ...

OY yoy yoy....

2009-04-27T19:27:00.000-07:00

Ya~HOOOOooooooOOOOOhhhh....
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Mail from tomkerry95 (28/04/09 @ 01:15)

Subject: Hello Message: Hello baby how are you well i will like to you okay you can add me on your yahoo ....... but this my tomkerry95@yahoo.com
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I just love all these well-taught communicators... I guess it sorta explains why they don't read my profile... they CAN'T.

Hum-drum

2009-03-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

Short, sweet and relatively harmless.........
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Mail from jerry760 (23/03/09 @ 16:20)

Subject: hello beautiful Message: just like to have some chat with you wait for you respose thanks jerry--------------
provided I don't answer.

Is there a form letter these guys use?

2009-03-07T00:56:00.000-08:00

The poor fellas just don't get it. If they would read the profile, they'd save themselves tons of time: the time they appear to dedicate to crafting such exquisite prose ...
"Mail from wisely (07/03/09 @ 04:56)
Subject: Hi Message: Hi lady how are you .you look charming.and cute, let me be the first to say Hello to you on this special day such has this you may asked what special day , well all day are special . while why am writing you his for you to know .that someone cherish you.because am lntrested in you well if you which to know me more , here are my conact;s Email Address wisely_son1@hotmail.com .... 0r 0060146491546 than you ,because it was written in Bibile Ecclesiastes 4:9 -12 . Genesis 2vrs 24 ."
What .. he wants me to PHONE him?? .. and/or he's expecting me to send him MY number.

To quote 'Anna Scott' in "Notting Hill", ... "Tempting, but .. no."

The Manbot repeats itself.

2008-12-06T11:51:00.000-08:00

I guess he - IT didn't think I read this brochure the first time:
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Subject: hi Message: Hey Pretty..I'm 41 years 6"1 tall with brown eyes and dark brown hair ...Seeking for a very nice beautiful woman like you and honest,distance is not the problem for me i just need the real woman that will show me love i can move to anywhere to find my real lover,I am a kind man with a good heart. I am honest, dependable,loving, gentle, affectionate and have good friendship. I feel that a WOMAN is GOd's undeserved gift to MAN and she is supposed to be loved, reverenced, protected, respected, and cherished,Kindly contact me on yahoo IM harrison_don41@yahoo.com so we could chat and see where this would lead us,I would like someone that will love and respect me for who I am, that likes to hold my hand and surprise me with a little kiss when I least expect it,or give me a wink from across the room to let me know she's thinking about me or give me a call just to let me know she's thinking about me... Because I will be doing the same. pls add me on my mail address above
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It must have malfunctioned.

Mass Messaging Manbots

2008-12-03T22:02:00.000-08:00

Okay: I'm all but totally convinced that just about every email I get at www.fusion101.com is a web bot. I say almost because I have received greetings from genuine people who honestly just want to make friends .. not like this ~
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Mail from harrison40 (03/12/08 @ 21:38)

Subject: hi Message: Hey Pretty..I'm 41 years 6"1 tall with brown eyes and dark brown hair ...Seeking for a very nice beautiful woman like you and honest,distance is not the problem for me i just need the real woman that will show me love i can move to anywhere to find my real lover,I am a kind man with a good heart. I am honest, dependable,loving, gentle, affectionate and have good friendship. I feel that a WOMAN is GOd's undeserved gift to MAN and she is supposed to be loved, reverenced, protected, respected, and cherished,Kindly contact me on yahoo IM harrison_don41@yahoo.com so we could chat and see where this would lead us,I would like someone that will love and respect me for who I am, that likes to hold my hand and surprise me with a little kiss when I least expect it,or give me a wink from across the room to let me know she's thinking about me or give me a call just to let me know she's thinking about me... Because I will be doing the same. pls add me on my mail address above
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EW ... just gives me the creeps.Besides, he's only 6" tall. Go read it again ...

Short but complete(ly incapable of reading)

2008-11-30T10:12:00.000-08:00

If there's one thing in cyber-world that makes me give my head a shake, it's those guys who, despite all wording to the contrary, will interpret it as an invitation. That's if they SEE the wording. This guy apparently didn't .. --------------------------------------
Mail from TenderHeart05 (30/11/08 @ 17:03)

Subject: Hello Message: I will like to know what a beautiful woman like you is doing on a dating site. I went through your profile and am interested in getting to knowing you better. --------------------------------------He (or 'it') is obviously unable to recognize the "JUST BUDDIES" option.

Tempting but .. no.

2008-11-28T00:04:00.000-08:00

Had to read it twice ..
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Mail from reveric1231 (28/11/08 @ 03:26)

Subject: hi Message: Hello, How are you doing, eric is my name, am a new member here and right now am checking out member profiles to see if i could be a lucky wuman. i like what you have on your profile, you can check out my profile too and let me know if its okay.. feel free to email me at reveric600@yahoo.com thanks.
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He hopes to be a lucky wuman. 'Nuff said.

REALLY loves to write; REALLY hates to read!

2008-11-27T12:04:00.001-08:00

This guy sent the following novel to everyone (I couldn't be so arrogant as to imagine it was just for my sweet self alone):
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Mail from jesus4guest (27/11/08 @ 19:44)

Subject: Hello Angel Message: Hello Cute Angel, How are you doing? i saw your profile and i was amazed by what i read, well i should have called you a perfect woman for any man, but lets start by knowing each other i Am Benjamin Johnson 50 DIVorced Male From California with a son 14yrs, i am 5FT 10inches tall, am tall, handsome,hardworking,Godfearing,honest,caring,intelligent,down to earth,and with good sense of humour.i am a Canadian french, i relocated to the united state, from Ontario Canada i am a civil engineer, i am a specialist in general construction of road,bridges,houses structural achitectural design and build,landscaping design,office and residential building design, constructions of swiming pool design and constructions water fountain ETC I started working with a company named two california construction company as the factory supervisor while the mother of my only surviving son was the company manager whom i got married to after 10 years that we were working together we got wedded in the latter rain christian center los angeles california we were married for another 2 years and had a son till i lost her to an auto crash, but right now i am planning on seting up my own company, but first i am in africa for a construction contract to construct a Road from the Island to the Mainland, and that will take approximately 2-3 months, and i want you to be my friend, i am always online when i am not at the construction site, most times i am online withing the morning hours, which is the evening in africa, i will really love to chat with you my angel, maybe get to know each others Between the times i am going to spend in africa by means of talking online often to keep the friendship going, who knows what fate has in store for us, i am willing to relocate to any part of the country since i am starting up my private company, moreso i have live in California all my life, and need a change of enviroment, if you wish to get to know me or have any questions to ask me, do not hesitate to email me, my yahoo ID is snowbear1973@yahoo.com you can IM me to see if i am online so we get chatting, hope to hear from you soon. Cheers Benjamin Johnson.
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Now I'm a 'cute angel'. *barf*.

Loves to write, hates to read ..

2008-11-22T13:47:00.000-08:00

This guy had a really long profile, and is no doubt proud of it, but he apparently neglected to comprehend mine ~ I seek friendship only. Why do these guys keep missing that?! Sheeesh.
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Mail from willsmilesmile (22/11/08 @ 10:22)

Subject: Hello Message:Hello How re you doing today,i am doing splendid if you would want to know i am Williams Anderson "do you have a name? i was checking members online when when i came across your profile i decide to glanced through it, i was real intrigued by what i read and liked the fact that you seek a christian man , i am a catholic i hope you don't mind that , so i decide to drop a line to show my interest for you and your profile despite the distance between us , i hope you do not mind if we get to known each , if you don't , you can write me something because i am not too Active here ,have a wonderful and blissful day Williams A.
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He didn't notice the glaring, over-omnipresent FACT that I am NOT SEEKING.
If friendship itself was not an option, I wouldn't remain on the site. I have actually made some nice acquaintances whom I hear from now & then, so it's not a waste of time for me .. just that there are so many YAHOOOooooz who can't understand English.

Dry spell .. punctuated by stuff like this:

2008-11-12T22:56:00.000-08:00

Honestly, do these guys really truly believe this approach works?--------------------
Mail from moonlightlove (13/11/08 @ 06:22)

Subject: Hi Message: Hello How are you doing.am kelvin by name and i was pleased to contact with you,i hope we can know more about ourself nd see what the future hold for us both,,,,,,,,because i am interested in you as the first woman i contacted as i got into this site now. i hope o hear from ou soonest dear. GOD BLESS YOU KEL --------------------Ooooohh, I'm flattered. I'M the first woman he contacted! What does that say about the other profiles he's read?

?!! ~~~~ Oh YAH. Like he READS them.

gag me

2008-10-03T10:47:00.000-07:00

Here's another one who thinks pet names are a good pickup technique:
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Mail from matthew1964 (03/10/08 @ 16:52)

Subject: Hello sweetie..... Message: How are you doing today?Am Matthew from the state Florida.today is my off day in work so i decided to come join these lovely site that a friend told me about...so i stop by on your profile and it really caught my attention..if you don't mind i will like to know more about you... Matthew
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As well, I just love the over-sugary, appallingly spelled & syntaxed messages.

I would be very intrigued to discover what it is about my profile, stated as boringly and discouragingly as possible, appeals to these fellas.
I'm almost convinced that no humans are actually writing to me.

8-o ~~~~ !!!!

2008-09-28T18:37:00.000-07:00

OY.
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Mail from gamrlonely (28/09/08 @ 22:16)

Subject: Hello Dear Message: Hello Dear I am Jeff By name, A.K.A Mr. Right. I'm a full body build man, cute and good looking; I have Brown eyes, brown hair and 5.9ft. I am into computer hardware. I like traveling and making new friends because its fun at times knowing someone new and special. I'm seeking for a woman with a beautiful heart, who loves intimacy and caring, a woman who's ready to give as much Love i will give to her. I do not want Ms. Perfect, what i actually want is Ms. Right, so she can be my better half, so she can be neck while am the head. I Love to hold hands while walking on the streets, I love to hug and to spoil as well. I am very passionate, emotional and affectionate person. Right now, i live by myself and searching for my soul mate, someone i will spend my eternity with, My favorite color is Pink. My Hopes and dreams in life is to find my soul mate someday, that’s why i decided to try the online dating, though am new to this and want to see how things go on here. I’ve been single for a while now trying to find a real love. I like playing basketball, volleyball and soccer. Like going to the Gym and exercising most of the weekends. As I came across your profile you seem to posses some sought of magnetic charm that elicited my interest and fascination. My admiration and physical attraction drew forth my immediate response without hesitation because you appeal to my dreams, desire and taste. My sudden instinctive response was based primarily on a spontaneous mutual attraction which rendered me helpless and unable to resist communicating with you immediately, please afford me the opportunity to know you. I would like to be the love you are looking and you be the one that I am looking for. Distance is not a barrier as long as our hearts connect as one. Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be, Distance does not matter if two hearts are loyal to one another. your beauty and sweetness captured my heart, Only God's creations can compare to the beauty that I see in you, The greatest gift to my eyesight is having my eyes set on you. They say, 'A picture is worth a thousand words,' but when I saw yours, I was speechless. If you are a paid member, you can send me your email so i can email you some pictures of me. I wait to receive your letters soon. Jeff
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.. and what IS this over-familiarity with a total stranger? ... "Dear"???! Honestly, do these guys really believe it's a turn-on?

... wait: am I SHOUTING??

I promise you I am NOT making these up.

2008-09-27T12:19:00.000-07:00

Um ...
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Mail from brianautopart (27/09/08 @ 13:57)

Subject: hi Message: Delights me communing with you Ms. As my profile implies, am 50 at the moment and a widower searching for love. Am new on the site sort off . In my own words i believe am a man with what I have to offer is meant for someone special. I love to have fun and appreciate a partner who knows the value in laughter. My values are compatible with a woman who respects herself and has integrity.There is no compromise in me with certain characteristics in a woman.She must have some fire and life to her and who isn't afraid to show some spunk. She also needs to be full of policy and respect God and Man.The ancient addage is "Ask and you shall receive". Destiny is still alive! I sincerely look forward to hearing back from you.. My personal email addreses are brianautopart@yahoo.com .Lots of funloving Moments, Jojo
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Okay, Jojo.

I'm 46 at the moment, and also at this moment my profile explicitly states I am NOT on the site to find a hubby. As MY profile says quite blatantly (rather than just implying), I'm on to make FRIENDS ONLY, because the option I chose is "JUST BUDDIES".
It's clear you didn't notice that, even tho' you seem to claim having noticed enough in me to get so gloppy .. *ew*

Happy Trails, Jojo.

Just didn't need this ...

2008-09-26T03:02:00.000-07:00

At almost 3am, when my cat refuses to let me sleep, I can do without an email from lame, oily turkeys such as ....
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Mail from macusp (26/09/08 @ 10:55)

Subject: HELLO;;;;; Message: Hi Dear, I wonder how God could let you go off so easily,seeing you has really made me forget to ask how u are doing.well let me not be carried away by your beauty,I must tell you the truth you are among the wonders of Gods beauty.I am sorry, i ougth to introduce my self,my name is paul,a 38years old living in Los Angeles.I am widow and have one child. Meeting with you will be my first joy,I am currently online now and i will really want us to talk, please it will gladden my heart if i get your response. I am new to fusion101 so it would be best you reply me . You are beautiful, Cheers till i hear from you.we can chat via yahoo messenger macusp@yahoo.com PAUL
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I mean GAG ME!!! ... this thing has got to be kidding. I'm sure it's nothing more than a bot checking on valid addresses, etc. I'm sure it won't notice being BLOCKED.

*PFffffffffffffffffffffTTT!!!~~~~~!!!!**

Got TWO today!

2008-09-17T08:30:00.000-07:00

YA~hOOOOOOooohhhh!!!!
1 ----------------------
Mail from riccard (17/09/08 @ 07:52)
Subject: hi
Message:
i am steven mayo person, God bless and how are you today , i read through your profile and i i love it, i am from england, i will be happy to know you, i am 40 years, and a successeful engineer, my e mail id is stevenkmayo@yahoo.com
cheers.steven.
2 ----------------------
Mail from jike (17/09/08 @ 09:30)
Subject: hello
Message:
Hello how are u doing i was going through the site and i got to love your profile and i decided to email so that will can know more about each other email me in my private box i will waiting to hear from you ejikeme_nze@yahoo.com
------------------------
.. ???! ~~~> :-)
YA~hOOOOOOooohhhh!!!!

What? .. no Yahoo address?!

2008-09-08T15:45:00.000-07:00

No matter: he's just as guilty of not reading the profile ..
------------------

Mail from its42and1966 (08/09/08 @ 23:39)

Subject: Peace of God be with you.... Message: Peace of the Lord be with you.... I am morries warlth...A single born again christian..Who is taking is time to search on the right person for him to grow old with...I just just sign up to this site last week its was introduced to me by my regional pastor..Since then i don't have chance to go through it till this moment...I saw ur profile and picture its look great and simple...I will love to know more about you... Thanks very much for you will take you time to go through my profile too..Sorry for my picture is still on ending..As time goes on you will my picture....I really hope that God speak to you so that you will know how important this is to me if i could read from you soon.....God be with you through our lord Jesus..(Amen) Thanks Morries Warlth
------------------
*sigh*

Yet another 'rat-at-tat' emailer ..

2008-08-30T09:05:00.000-07:00

I can't help noticing how generic all these messages are, not to mention how totally irrelevant to my actual profile! If they would take one moment to observe their target, they could save tons of time ..
------

Mail from don1964 (30/08/08 @ 06:21)

Subject: Hey ! Message: Nice profile and a lovely pics you have on here..I would'nt mind getting to meet and if you care for some or better still send me some of your pics into my private email add jeovano_zem@yahoo.it/jeovano_zem@live.com Looking forward to read from you. Kiss and Hugs
------
.. and this one just makes me laugh with his expectation of receiving my pics when he claims he just saw them.. By the way, there's only ONE, and it's *deliberately* the homeliest I could find. Strange how he can see so much into a profile he didn't really see at all. Go figure.

Clever boy ..

2008-08-10T13:21:00.001-07:00

This guy claims I emailed him. Just in case I did and forgot, I checked my sent box .. nope.
-------------------

Mail from rgranley (10/08/08 @ 09:03)

Subject: hello Message: how are you doing there ..am glad to recieve your email ..may god bless you i will like to know more about you .can you email me on rgranley@yahoo.com hope to hear from you soon..Godbless
-------------------
Nice try, tho'.

Why do these guys waste their time?

2008-08-01T15:20:00.000-07:00

What boggles my mind is they will take the time & trouble to include me in their blanket search, but don't bother to read the headline which would have spared them an extra few seconds .. LOL.
-----------
Subject: Hi
Message:
Hello,
How are u doing today?Hope everything is going well with u?Ur profile seems interesting and I would love
to get to know u more better?
Am Mcjohnson Lawson by name,am a single parent,Originally from Texas(U.S.A).
I am kinda of shy at first but quickly loosen up after I get to know a ..person.
Am a business owner.Confident and secure in myself,6`2 Feet Tall,open minded person,down to
earth,intelligent,truthful, and very affectionate man,i need a woman to be faithful and get married to.I 'm
looking for someone I can take care of and get the same back. I'm looking for a genuine woman.I like
doing
all the outdoor stuff, fishing,camping etc.

I have a four year Son that I absolutely love more than ..anything.
.... We spend every time together and I enjoy every moment with him. I'm looking for the right Godly
woman I can fall in love with and make happy,.
I need Truth, loving, caring,and a romantic woman,a woman who is God fearing and willing to share
trust,passion,affection and honesty in a relationship, And Enjoy having a good time with the man she
loves.
If u are interested and willing to get to know me more better,u can get back at me via email
manandwife89@yahoo.com
or IM me lets have a good conversation.

Note:I don;t mind relocating if that will create a better relationship..
I will be waiting patiently for ur reply and remain bless..Have a good time out there

McJohnson
-----------
... no idea.

Oh COME ON now.

2008-07-23T14:02:00.000-07:00

Mail from jmax (23/07/08 @ 17:20)Subject: HelloMessage:Hey am my name is John Marcom Alex, Am 43 years old.. A a single father of a son, I was checking on the site when i saw your wellplaced profile . So i cant judt Control the passion in me .. To be realistic am a fun Loving man .Have been single for few years now and i have been the only one and my Little Boy.. I was born in Mansfield ohio United state. I lived all my life in Mansfield i love to travel alot and love Dancing Lol.. Am new to this Online dating i have no experience but i have been hurt by ladies alot, They showed me they Love me and played me for a fool. All am praying for is that if only i could have someone sincere o start a good Relationship with and i know by God's Grace i would succedd in having the woman of my Heart. I need someone to share my lif with Grow Old with, I dont really care about where she comes from or what background she has, I love o go to beach and dancing.I need someone who is ready for a real Relationship.. I have been Hurt so much and i prayed to God about this am Doing cause i dont want to get Hurt again. I wont Mind who ever she is.. what i am Looking in a Woman is Kindness, Soft hearted, Caring, Honest, Dont cheat, Loving, Respect.And al other attitude that can be defined for a woman that is meant to be a wife Material.I am so sorry for taking much of your time to read this, I would like to start a Good Conversation with you and get to know you more ... I would like to know about you if you wont Mind.. Alright take good care of yourself i would be waiting to here from you . Have a blessed Day bye. You can also get back in touch with me on my email Adress wjoetim@yahoo.com..

ho hum .. again?

2008-07-19T18:24:00.001-07:00

Mail from Mynameiszion (20/07/08 @ 02:12)

Subject: Hi Message: Hi incredible profile & you are stunning,I saw your profile and it caused and unusual impact, I am interested in you. You have such a beautiful profile. and i like to know more about you..... if u don't mind i would love us to chat on yahoo messanger this is my yahoo id robinwills2@yahoo.com.....i hope to hear back from you soon.....thanks Robin"

Caught!

2008-05-07T13:10:00.000-07:00

Another yahoo, but this time I tried to email him (using one of my anonymous, throwaway addresses) .. surprise surprise, it's a FAKE! ~ *egad*.
--------------------------------
Mail from justmarvel (07/05/08 @ 08:31)

Subject: hi
Message:
just saw your profile and i would love to know you better my name is marvel mail me so we
can make acquaintances
pleasure

--------------------------------
Your mail to justmarvel (07/05/08 @ 17:01)

Subject: hi marvel. u ok with just pals?
Message:
that's all I'm here for, so if you're fine with it, by all means keep in touch.

God bless,
WC

--------------------------------
Mail from justmarvel (07/05/08 @ 19:27)

Subject: hi
Message:

sure why not. as long as you are sure that what you want no problems. my email is
marvel.legends03@yahoo.com add me so we stay in touch
love marvel

--------------------------------
Date: Wed, 7 May 2008 1:01 PM
From: "K_F" [Add]
To: marvel.legends03@yahoo.com
Subject: don't have an 'add me' function: what do you mean?
Message:
hi, from fusion101; "WizeChik" .. I'm not sure what you meant by 'add
me'.

cheerz
--
K_F
wizechik@mailcan.com

-------- (mail was returned undeliverable; 'user doesn't have a yahoo account') --------
Your mail to justmarvel (07/05/08 @ 21:03)

Subject: whoops, that didn't work
Message:
hi Marvel ~
I'm not sure what you meant by 'add me' so I tried to email you at that address and it
bounced back.

Sorry
--------------------------------
.. whereupon I summarily blocked him. I feel sorta bad .. I mean, couldn't he be one of those innocent dudes who just doesn't know any better?

I'm watching for that cow to fly over the moon.

Dry Spell ..

2008-04-18T23:32:00.000-07:00

I wonder if these things happen in cycles every time?
--------------------------------
Mail from jamesfowly12345 (19/04/08 @ 04:39)
Subject: hello....lets start from here
Message:Hello how are you doing and how is everything with you? i am Mr James Fowler, A young hearted man looking for nothing but happiness, a man that is loving and honest with anything, i am an Engineer,All i look for online is someone that is honest and caring, Passionate and Affectionate, A woman that is God Fearing and wants a Relationship with the right man, A woman that will never cheat on her man, that will never lie to him and a woman that will be upfront and has a good sense of humor is who i look for to be my best friend and get closer with each other more.My id is jamesfowly@yahoo.com, You can email me if you think we could be great match.. Please if you are not ready for what i have to offer which is True Love and Honesty please dont bother to email me... You can even add me to your IM messanger if you have one. Will be waiting for your warm messages. Thanks and have a wonderful day.
--------------------------------
Well, I can grant him one request ~ I won't bother to email him!

I changed it ever so slightly ... see?

2008-03-03T06:21:00.000-08:00

It's endlessly amusing to watch my inbox fill with clueless tripe. Most if not all of these messages are scam attempts anyway ...
tho' I think I have a point about the look of my picture .. so I *embellished* a little .. wot a hottie, eh?!
Let's see who falls in love with me now.
----------------------------------------------------
From: cscp194707
Subject: let us be friends
Message:
I'm a black African man , I reside in the western part of Nigeria and I'm a true Christian man. I was born into a good christian home of seven children and I'm the 4th child in the family, in my family discipline and honesty are our watchword. I'm an industrial skill developer, that is I train people how to be self reliance. I've trained many youths in Nigeria and some part of Africa. I was badly hurt some years ago by a woman I really trust but she disappointed me.Now,I need a straight forward,honest, faithful and God fearing woman to be my heart. I pledge my 100% love for her and she will be happy for the rest of her life cos i will treat her like a queen. Kindly reply to this note as a matter of urgency to dotade76@yahoo.com.You can also reach me on +2348033950950. I really care Joseph
----------------------------------------------------
... a matter of urgency? Oh, and he'd like me to CALL him.

(please excuse me while I ROFL)

LOL .. maybe my pic makes me look DESPERATE.

2008-03-03T05:56:00.000-08:00

That's it ~ I look so miserable and lonely in this picture, they assume I would jump at the chance they're offering me!! Here's another letter ..
--------------------------------------------
From: cscp195375
Subject: hello
Message:
How are you doing and I hope you are finding this search for love so interesting? I am very new on here and I saw your profile, its interesting and your pics is calling....LOL.I am very new on this online dating of a thing and would really like to get to know more about you if you don't mind.I am Martins by name and I would please want you to be very free and ask me what ever you wish to know about me and my lifestyle....Meanwhile I hope you are a believer and a God fearing person who loves others and care so much for Kids?Cos I so much love kids ,Even though I dont have any but would love to when i get married ,I still cherish them so dearly, and love making them so happy and having impact in their lifes. You might be thinking of distance and age difference too but to me Age is nothing but a number and it doesn't really matter, what really matter is that of Honest,caring,Loving,Loyal and trustworthy so if you're with this qualities please get in touch with me. kind my yahoo email is martinsmoore45 at yahoo dot com , while my chat id is martinsmoore45.Please kindly email me to my yahoo email because I would not be able to get to you here as I cannot really understand much of it.Hope to read from you soon. Martins.
--------------------------------------------
By the way, my profile header says "PLEASE READ THE PROFILE."

Nice trick, this guy's saying he wants me to answer his yahoo address because he can't understand the site he emailed me on.

Ri-i-i-ight.

How did he ever manage to contact me?

??? .. okay, remember Mr."All About The Love?"

2008-03-03T04:59:00.000-08:00

This made me stare. First of all, you saw that I eventually had to set him straight. So I have just received this response to that message:
----------------------------------------------------
From: cscp193129
Subject: Uhmm
Message:
Kim, Thanks for the mail.I feel so jealous and please tell the Man in your life that a friend said He has really captured a wonderful hearthrob. Have a wonderful day. Joleen
-----------------------------------------------------
*ahem* .. now that was well-covered, don't you think?
His 'friend' (or was it her friend? .. confused now) said my buddy here captured, blah blah blah, you read the rest. Joleen.
It's probably just that wannabe loverboy DIDN'T READ CAREFULLY, and to save face he figured he could make it look like a female friend of his was answering on his behalf ~ problem is it reads as if SHE is the jealous one.

.. or am I reading that wrong?

sigh .. Another one who won't read.

2008-02-29T18:43:00.000-08:00

This is a modest *cough* fella who thinks anyone receiving this will be thoroughly impressed, and just falling all over herself to catch him.
-----------------------------------------------
Mail from jeffmaximas (02/29/08 @ 02:31)
Subject: Hello
Message:
My name is Jeffrey Maximas, I am an attractive and charismatic (more...) (more...)guy . I am part Italian and part Spanish. I speak several languages because of family origin, as well as frequent trips to various destinations worldwide..mostly business...some pleasure. I am easy going and family oriented. I am very funny in an unusual way...or so I've been told. I am very romantic, spontaneous, and passionate. I like to experience/learn different cultures. I almost forgot...I am a very good dancer.
I must admit that I find you very attractive. However, I would like to get to know more about the person that you are on the inside.I would like to establish a friendship to see if you have a future as companions and husband and wife. I am looking forward to chatting with you in the near future. I would consider it an honor if you would take a moment to review my profile
I am looking forward to your response in the near future.
Please take very good care of yourself. we can have a chat on yahoo *masager(emphasis mine): jeffmaximas@yahoo.com or jeffmaximas@live.com
Respectfully yours,jeffrey maximasjeffmaximas@yahoo.com
-----------------------------------------------
.. oh HOW can I possibly resist such charm? Mercy.

What amuses me is how he managed to spell just about everything else right, and totally mangle the word "messenger".
* ... "masager"????

... something about that pic.

2008-02-28T18:23:00.000-08:00

Come on, it's an Elmer Fudd hat, and I look about as seductive as a mildewy faucet! Yet I'm still getting mush ~
---------------------------------------
From: cscp195637
Subject: Hi Cutie
Message:
Hi Dear I'm Mark from San Diego,California and i'm a geologist.I have been a widow for 7 years and i have a son who his 13YRS and he live in U-k. i was going through profiles on here looking for a better match for me and i found your profile and i liked it.I want to have more conversation with you and see what life as for us this time dear, well you might think there is a great distant btw us that doesn't matter but for me choiceing you as my best match matters most and i'm a geologist i travel alot and i'm gonna get retire soon,i can travel to any lenght just to make my self happy and i think this gonna make me happy for sure. i ll be looking forward to hear back from you take care,you can as well contact me at my email address markjohnson_05@yahoo.com.Thanks Mark.
---------------------------------------
Yawh-HOOOOOoooooooOOOOHHH!!

.... and howcome the majority of these people have such atrocious English skills? You'd think a geologist from San Diego would have a slightly better command of his language.

Wow, I'm more popular with that pic!

2008-02-27T16:54:00.000-08:00

Well, that new pic of mine seems to be irresistible! *LOL* .. how can anybody possibly expect others to take seriously this drivel they're sending?
--------------------------------
From: cscp195566
Subject: Hi
Message:
hello how are you doing today. My name is william....i am single never married....i just broke up with my ex and right now am looking on to making friends...real good friends....hmmm i will say am also searching for the right person buit i wouldnt say am despirately searching....i am into supplies...i do leather supplies and i travel most of the time when am out of stuck....i travel to Italy or Africa to get my supplies do tell me about you...what is it you want in life and how is life treating you presently...do you travel?..for me travelling is fun and i only get that chance when am to fetch for leathers..I love swimming,Handball,reading and Volleyball....the best of all is swimming. dont let me say all here will be nice to chat more about it when you get online. it will good to read back from you mush care William. you can add me now williamben_222
--------------------------------
It's so 'pat' and alike to scads of other messages, I had to go through the earlier ones to see if it was a repeat!

OH NOooooooo .... does not compute

2008-02-27T11:05:00.000-08:00

Right. Mr."All About the Love", whom I thought was copacetic with my position, has apparently mistaken my correspondence for INTEREST. *DUH!* .. what part of "I'm not here for more than friends, but I hope you find your special lady. Best wishes." .. did he not understand??Was it just that I didn't stop there, and responded to his statement "if you dont mind having a prayer partner or a friend"? .. anyway, now he's off his rocker. Read the last one... Ya, folx ~ I guess I'm movin' to Maryland. NOT!!..... oh, and there's that YAHOO address again. I shoulda known.What IS it with people?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ READ, WILL YA???!!
2008-02-19
From:cscp193129
Subject:Hi
Message:
Hello Dearest, I wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you today and hoping the day brings many wonderful things your way,a hug, a warm touch,kind words, a smile,and all the things that make life worthwhile.Have a wonderful day angel. Samuel cares!
----------------------------
From: cscp******
Subject: thank you
Message:
I'm not here for more than friends, but I hope you find your special lady. Best wishes.
----------------------------
From: cscp193129
Subject: Hi
Message:
Sis, Calvary greetings to you in the name of our Lord Jesus.How are you doing today and thanks for writing back.I wish you the best in life too and i will like to know if you dont mind having a prayer partner or a friend whom we can share the word of the Lord in togetherness.Hoping to read from you again.Have a blessed day in Christ Jesus. Samuel
----------------------------
From: cscp******
Subject: hi Samuel
Message:
it's unusual to have a 'friend' here, but that's why I signed on: sometimes Christian people just want a safe place to share their thoughts when others around them can't listen for whatever reason. Have a great day and feel free to ask sometime for an extra ear. Kim
----------------------------
From: cscp193129
Subject: Angel
Message:
Thanks for the wonderful mail Kim,i will be glad if you can send a recen picture of yours to my email,hypertech1977@yahoo.com. Hoping to read from you soonest,have a blessed day. Samuel
----------------------------
From: cscp******
Subject: pic ..
Message:
the picture on my profile here is fairly recent, within the past few months. Kim
----------------------------
2008-02-27
From: cscp193129
Subject: Angel
Message:
Kim, Good morning.You look so gorgeous and i cant wait any longer to meet you in person.Kindly mail me on hypertech1977@yahoo.com and we can talk and chat better.Where do you live and were you born in this planet earth???? Lots Of Love and Kisses Samuel
----------------------------
Sent To: cscp193129
Subject: hi Samuel
Message:
whoops, I wonder if there's a misunderstanding here. I'm getting the impression you may be seeking more with me than just friends, because I hadn't counted on meeting ~ besides, what are you going to do, come to where I live? I don't mind keeping in touch here to support one another as friends in God, but that's all it is for me, and I wouldn't want to mislead you into anything else. Saying I'm so gorgeous is flattering, but in this case I'm sorry it's not really applicable. I already have a nice gentleman companion in my city, and I am on this site ONLY for online friends to say 'hi' to sometimes. Please accept my apologies if you perceived my greetings any other way; I didn't intend to offer a relationship or personal meeting. God bless, Kim
----------------------------
I think I worded that nicely enough, but I'm starting to wonder if I'll end up with some psycho guy. He wanted pictures. There is one on the profile. He wanted me to email him on his yahoo address. I didn't, and I bet he'll be one unhappy camper, but maybe it'll stop now...... (holds breath)

Hahaa.. I've just uploaded THIS pic, because it's one of my worst. I had the flu and felt utterly miserable.
If I get gooey emails from THAT ONE, those fellas are truly disturbed.

nooooooo ... I got SPAMMED .. eek

2008-02-21T09:53:00.000-08:00

Okay THIS is just SHAMELESS and TACKY.
-----------------------------
2008-02-21
From: cscp195506
Subject: Hi
Message:
*ACCESS LIMIT FINANCIAL COMPANY US Office: 8030 Banville Drive,Jacksonville Florida. 32210.USA. Tel:+1-206-350-6613 Fax:+1-206-202-4874 Netherland Office: P. O. Box 234,301 West Main Street, New Holland, PA 17557 Tel: +34-717-355-2650 * Email:accesslimit.financial@gmail.com or access2063506613@safe-mail.net * FINANCIAL PROGRAM(LOAN)** *You can get any type of loan from us and we give it out with little or no interest rate,we are located in United State Of America with other annex in three other countries. This are the types of loan oppurtunity you can benefit from us. * *** Individual Loan *Company Loan *Student Loan *Church Loan *Hospital Loan E.T.C** *YOU CAN GET ATLEAST A LOAN OF $5000 TO THE SUM OF $3,000,000.00 HERE COME FOR YOUR LOAN APPLICATION FORM TODAY AND YOU WILL BE GLAD YOU DID ** *Mrs Carmella Martin(Company Directoress)*

This guy is all about the love ...

2008-02-19T10:57:00.000-08:00

Not that there's anything wrong with 'the love' .. but what does he want?
-------------------
2008-02-19
From:cscp******
Subject:Hi
Message:
Hello Dearest, I wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you today and hoping the day brings many wonderful things your way,a hug, a warm touch,kind words, a smile,and all the things that make life worthwhile.Have a wonderful day angel. Samuel cares!
-------------------
I did write back, just to say I'm here for friends but I hope you meet your special lady. It seemed rude to not at least say something, seeing as how he was so harmlessly affectionate, including my favourite salutation, "Dearest"!! ... *ugh*.

Oh well, he's probably the tamest, I can live with that.

Sorry, what was that? I didn't get it the first time ..

2008-02-18T08:33:00.000-08:00

Talk about repeat offender? This guy literally repeats himself.
I was not going to post this letter because when I got it yesterday, it seemed just a sincere message from a person who apparently meant well, but toward whom I simply had no pull.
However .. I'm sitting here, head tilted, baffled at how utterly oblivious some people can be. Did he not happen to notice he was emailing the same person the very next day, with the word-for-word same text? .. not only that, but it's the verbatim in his profile.
----------------------
Date: 2008-02-17
From: cscp193000
Subject: GOD BLESS YOU
Message:
Hello People of God, How are you doing? I hope everything is fine, well; I'm a single young man. I just wanted to let you know the kind of person I am, I am a man that is in need of real and perfect love, I need a woman that can take me through, see, I have been hurt so many times by different women and wouldn't want that to happen to me again...that's the reason why I said that I need love.... I am far from a millionaire and am not out for anything but love from someone. Having someone that loves you and supports me in my life through good and bad times and won't give up on me is what I am looking for. Honesty and trust are what makes a relationship work. I prefer to watch a movie or attend the theater rather than read a novel. I also enjoy travel, experiencing different geographies and people. I do not smoke. do drink on social occasions.... well concerning sexuality; I am not a promiscuous man. My desire is to be sexually faithful to the woman I will marry. If two people love each other and will communicate they like and do not like about their partner's sexual behavior, I believe many problems can be resolvedMoreover, I am currently working on my own cos I had to try something else after I lost almost all I had to my last relationship I just finish the Pastoral school as a Pastor ...it is a nice thing to serve God , I need real love. I don't play games and isn't ready to be played. Distance is not a problem. If I find the right WOMAN. I don't mind relocating... I have relocated before when I was in love. I don't mind doing it again as long as I find the right woman. I am a very honest and truthful man. I hate lies and deceit. I want real love... I am getting too old to play games. I am a very busy one...lol. Very independent, what do u does for fun? What are your favorite dishes...? Thanks and may Almighty God be with you Amen. Best regard Anthony
----------------------

Date: 2008-02-17
From: cscp****** (me)
Subject: Best Wishes
Message:
God bless you too as you search; I don't feel an attraction but thank you for writing.
----------------------

Date: 2008-02-18 (.. uhm, OK?!??)
From: cscp193000
Subject: GOD BLESS YOU
Message:
Hello People of God, How are you doing? I hope everything is fine, well; I'm a single young man. I just wanted to let you know the kind of person I am, I am a man that is in need of real and perfect love, I need a woman that can take me through, see, I have been hurt so many times by different women and wouldn't want that to happen to me again...that's the reason why I said that I need love.... I am far from a millionaire and am not out for anything but love from someone. Having someone that loves you and supports me in my life through good and bad times and won't give up on me is what I am looking for. Honesty and trust are what makes a relationship work. I prefer to watch a movie or attend the theater rather than read a novel. I also enjoy travel, experiencing different geographies and people. I do not smoke. I do drink on social occasions.... well concerning sexuality; I am not a promiscuous man. My desire is to be sexually faithful to the woman I will marry. If two people love each other and will communicate what they like and do not like about their partner's sexual behavior, I believe many problems can be resolved. Moreover, I am currently working on my own cos I had to try something else after I lost almost all I had to my last relationship I just finish the Pastoral school as a Pastor ...it is a nice thing to serve God , I need real love. I don't play games and isn't ready to be played. Distance is not a problem. If I find the right WOMAN. I don't mind relocating... I have relocated before when I was in love. I don't mind doing it again as long as I find the right woman. I am a very honest and truthful man. I hate lies and deceit. I want real love... I am getting too old to play games. I am a very busy one...lol. Very independent, what do u does for fun? What are your favorite dishes...? Thanks and may Almighty God be with you Amen. Best regard Anthony
----------------------
OY!!! ... evidently he thinks if he sends the exact same message to me again I will send a different response. *sigh* .. the definition of insanity.

Double Offender!

2008-01-29T19:40:00.000-08:00

This guy emailed me on two sites. Does this look familiar?
------------------------------------------
(this is fusion101; he emailed me on singles.org, as cscp194867)
"Mail from faithingod100 (30/01/08 @ 01:52)
Subject: hi
Message:Hello How are you I hope you are fine, am Faith I would like to know if you would like me to write you again, I like your profile do you like mine should I write and tell you about myself ? Would you love to chat ? i chat on yahoo here is my chat id f.ait_wes_lly I would like to hear from you ASAP. Faith.My pics will be ready soon"
------------------------------------------
... Imagine if I'd decided to say "hey, you emailed me on singles.org, and you never answered!" .. lol

Uh ~ Huh .....

2008-01-18T19:27:00.000-08:00

Mr. Smooth Talker, suurrrrre he's 'shy'. His email to me:
-------------------------------------------------------------------
From:cscp194859
Subject: Hello Beautiful..
Message:
Hello Beautiful.. How are you Doing, I am Nick from Mississippi, I am a Contractor, I Love to Dance, swim, sing, play basketball, and also Make pretty Angels like you smile..I am Divorced with a Daughter she is 12. I was Just Checking out this website and seeing your beautiful picture got me attracted to you I must Confess to you that you look so much like an Angel and I would like to know more about you. I was quite shy to express how I Feel.. I feel that way whenever I meet someone so Beautiful.. I must tell you that your beauty has entrapped my Heart.. I would Like to know you more so email me and tell me more about yourself.. Nick
-------------------------------------------------------------------

my answer:
"missed your calling"
.. ever thought of writing romance novels? thanks, I'm only here for friends, no more.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
YIKES.

another wave ...

2008-01-15T19:31:00.000-08:00

I never knew there were so many people out there who:
1 - don't realize their scam technique is not unique
2 - sincerely believe this approach is effective
3 - actually expect replies!!
----------------------------------------------
From: cscp194145
Subject: Hi Dear
Message: Hello dear miss, I said I should send you a mail to let you know that there is someone out here who is craving to meet with you and who beleives you are the perfect person for him.Although you don't know me I believe with time we will get to know each other. Well my name is Mathias from Nigeria and I am 34years old,you must be wandering the distance between me and you well that doesn't matter to me because I believe that when you are interested in someone you can go miles and miles just to meet with that special person. Dear miss ,I don't know your real name so if you realy want to get to know me better you can just give me a Holla at lovemathy@yahoo.com or better call 2348022772264 My Dearest miss I send you a thousand kisses and love. Hear from you soon!! Mathycares
----------------------------------------------
"Tempting, but.. no." ('Anna Scott', in 'Notting Hill')
----------------------------------------------
From: cscp194930
Subject: beloved
Message: hello I got attracted by your profile and picx i most especially you headline..i will like to get to know u better but if it is acceptable by u i will want you mail me on my personal email address m.mdcf@yahoo.com so i think we can be best of friend. Hope to hear from you soon.
----------------------------------------------
He really liked the headline, which says "Friends only, nothing else!" .. so hey, he must really want to just be friends?
NOT.

I must have a 'weird' magnet.

2008-01-14T22:48:00.000-08:00

Wow, all sorts of weirdness! A job offer, a restaurant booking and, of course, our favourite yahoos.
---------------------------------
Date: Mon, 14 Jan 2008 20:50:49 -0600
From: "Mr.John Doney" (he can't spell his own name?)<downeyjohn3@googlemail.com>
Subject: Read And Comfirm Your Receipt Of This Mail.
Reply-to: downeyjohn3@googlemail.com

Dear Sir/Madam,(see, they don't even know who I am)

Would you like to work online from home/temporarily and earn constantPayment? We are glad to offer you a job position in our company, DanaPetroleum E&P Limited.

You we be paid a monthly salary, if you are interested you are to pleasefill the below form and further information’s on this job will be sent toyou in our next mail.

Names in full:
Address:
Occupation:
AGE:
SEX:Nationality:
Marital status:
Telephone:
Fax:
Mobile:
Email:

PLEASE CONTACT:
Mr. John Downey
Managing Director
Dana Petroleum E&P Limited.
E-mail: downeyjohn3@googlemail.com
---------------------------------
Sure. I'll work there ..
---------------------------------
Date: Sun, 13 Jan 2008 23:25:03 -0800
From: Edmund Brooks <edmundbrooks@wellingtonhosipital.org>
Subject: DINNER BOOKING
Reply-to: Edmund Brooks <edmundbrooks11@yahoo.co.uk>

Hello,I am Dr. Edmund Brooks ,the director of Staff welfare (Willington Hospital) UK .

I want to book dinner for my group of workers arriving from London . They will all come for dinner in your place as from March 24th, 25th, 26th and 27th 2008 by 7:00pm each day. They are 15 in number.
Get back with your response if there is availability in your restaurant.

Kind Regards,
Edmund Brooks
38a Eglish Road,
Dungannon, County Tyrone,
BT70 1LA, London,UK
Phone:+447031893828
Fax#:+447005806775
---------------------------------
Whooops, someone sure got misdirected by the intended gist of things, but it's to get the reader to correct the sender, which of course tags one's email as VALID ..
---------------------------------
From:cscp194867
Subject:Hello
Message:Hello
How are you I hope you are fine, am Faith I would like to know if you would like me to write you again, I like your profile do you like mine should I write and tell you about myself ? Would you love to chat ? i chat on yahoo here is my chat id f.ait_wes_lly I would like to hear from you ASAP. Faith.
---------------------------------
*yawn* ... Ya-HOOOooooWooooohhh!!

Avalanche ....

2008-01-04T17:24:00.000-08:00

Two more, and my notion of the vanishing yahoos was off, they both are.
------------------------------------------------------
From:cscp193657
Subject:hi
Message:
How are you doing ,have just finished going through your profile .When my heart seems to stop beating thats because of ur Beauty.I am faithful in love,I can't promise you that dark clouds will never over our lives or that the future will bring us many rainbows. I can't promise you that tomorrow will be perfect or that life will be easy. But i know , I can promise you my everlasting devotion, my loyalty,my respect,and my unconditionallove for a lifetime.I can promise that I'll always be there for you,to listen and to hold your hand,and I'll always do my best to make you happy, and make you feel loved.I can promise that I'll see you through any crisis,and hope with you,dream with you,build with you,and always cheer you on and encourage you.I can promise that I'll share my dreams my world,and and any other thing loves bring us to do. i have yahoo account and i can chat on yahoo with this id ...larry and my email address is edscott09@yahoo.com
------------------------------------------------------
From:cscp194787
Subject:HI SWEETIE
Message: Hi am Smith Brown,How was your day? mine was great?Well i came across your profile and was impress,you dazzled me with your smile,deemed it fit that we should get to know ourselves as i am a man with so much to learn and also so much to give out,My heart skipped a beat for a slight second when i saw your profile and said to myself that knowing you would be great and that if i ever had the chance to chat or talk to you i would make sure you enjoyed every bit of our conversation,so please do me a favour and allow us know each other by sending me your yahoo add.here is my yahoo s_brown147@yahoo.com HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU
------------------------------------------------------
Bwahahahahahahhhaaaaa-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa!!!!
... these have to be the DRIPPIEST of all the emails I've received so far!

.. oh dear

2008-01-04T14:36:00.000-08:00

Someone didn't grasp my diplomacy. Drat: I had to get blunt. I wonder if that will sink in ... he's not a spammer, he's just dim.
--------------------------------------
From:cscp194710 (from yesterday)
Subject:Nice reading from you
Message:
hello,Nice to meet you...I live in the UK at the moment been here for 2yrs on work related and will be staying here for another 3 years....are u single ?have u kid(s)?Pls tell me what u do for living and what best occupies your spare time..hope to hear from you again soon.... Regards, John
--------------------------------------
Why, oh WHY don't these people PAY ATTENTION??? ... it's like they bring this upon themselves by disregarding my profile ~

Please don't write to me if you want a romantic partner, ok? I won't reply, and your email will be deleted.
If you JUST WANT FRIENDS, email me: don't 'wink', as I don't respond to winks, ok? My experience is that 'winks' are done to make me answer, then I get hit on. So DON'T 'WINK' at me if you want to be my friend.
Thanks.
I'm overweight. I don't get out much to exercise, and my apartment is very cluttered. I am stubborn, moody and I don't take much of life seriously, even church. I love God, but I didn't come to faith by way of church, so I don't have a religious routine. I don't pray in tongues, raise my hands, or have daily devotions.

I make a really good friend. THAT'S ALL. NOTHING MORE!! ...................... EVER!!

~ and when they write to me anyway, I end up feeling like a meanie.
READWILLYA!!

Seem to come in droves or not at all ..

2008-01-03T15:31:00.000-08:00

That's two in one day after weeks on end of nothing. No yahoo addy on this one either; maybe it's a new spam tactic? .. funny that I get two back to back with no yahoo showing.
Now, this dude claims to want friends, but it's obvious he is seeking more, so I wrote to thank him but that I didn't want to lead him on.
*sigh* .. the ones who seemed okay with 'friendship' have disappeared. Duhmmm, go figure.
-------------------------------------
From:cscp194710
Subject:How u doing....
Message:
How u doing this Season..well read through your profile and thought it nice droping you some few lines just to let you know you are special nd would like to know who the pretty lady is.....Hope we could be friends cos i guess i love your personality and would like to hear back from you soon....Thanks and hoping you get back to me.. Regards, John
-------------------------------------
Oh well, guess I'll just have to be content with this trickle of misplaced enthusiasm.

Happy New Year, let's start with a thud.

2008-01-03T09:31:00.000-08:00

Ugh!! .. the dreaded "hi dear" from a total stranger who thinks that's a good opening line. Now, he's unique in that there is no yahoo address, but he still fits into the "I didn't read it because I thought once I delivered my special brand of charm and sob story for extra kick it wouldn't matter" category. Then he says 'hello lady'. Uhmmmm, yah, this looks so well-thought-out and appropriate to his target.
runonsentencesandpoorspelingnottew
mention,grammarandpunctuationmistake'sandnocapitalletters
... YIKES!
... oh well, I did reply if only to say "just friends, sorry, as it says specifically in my profile, thanks anyway, bye."
Something tells me this one might try again, wondering why I just want to be friends. I'll let ya know.
----------------------------------
From: cscp193870
Subject:hi dear
Message:
Hello Lady,I am david gordons 42years old was born and brought up in the usa minnesota st paul city.I am a single man father i have a daughter my wife died giving birth to my only daughter tracyI am an enginner of shell petroleum oil(spdc) company usa.I head my department as a supervisor I enjoy my job and i earn very well not been proud you know but just honest.My daughter rightnow is in london studying she is 7 years of age i love her and she is the only thing for now i look upon that makes me smile.Well let me end there for now and tell you more about myself .Things i do for fun i love reading,singing,dancing,and also hanging out with my friends .I drink but dont smoke. I am a christain of the roman catholic i believe in God so much.I love my job though is stressful rightnow i am on transfer to european country. i am working right now in england. i am working on a road contract. iam seeking for a god fearing woman that i want to spend the rest of my life with her iam well easy going person. i would love to know more about yo i hope to hear from you god bless you
------------------------------------
He doesn't seem to be a spammer, but there are just too many things about the email that scream "I am not for real" .. hmmm, maybe I should google him.

Inbox is empty. Suggestions for topics, people?

2007-12-26T10:41:00.000-08:00

When I'm not receiving the bogus emails, the blog is suspended. I'd like to have something related to put here for when there's no message to post.

Readers, send me your thoughts.

Meanwhile, best of the season to you & yours.

Why do I keep those social accounts open?

2007-12-19T12:24:00.000-08:00

That's a question I began to touch on, but this is the more involved answer.

1) Sometimes I do make a contact resulting in a new friend.
2) It can be very entertaining, if not especially bright.
3) The collecting of the emails here provides a reminder to count my blessings.
4) Exposing the scammers seems like the right thing to do.
5) ... and finally, keeping those accounts open allows me to compare how different sites work, and who targets them. The number of scam mails wa-a-a-a-ay outdoes the nice guys, but I won't toss out a little baby just beacuse of too much bathwater.

Here's a relic: wa-a-a-ay before this blog was born!

2007-12-17T15:52:00.000-08:00

Going through some ancient emails I happened upon a bit of nostalgia that, I think, represents what I might have received had I ever (in seriousness) responded to the initial scam letters:
------------------------------------
From: aisha
Sent: 7/26/2005 12:22:41 PM
To: {they sent to the wrong address}
Subject: Re: Why your funds have not been released
Dear Sir/Madam,
RE: CONTRACT PAYMENT CONFIRMATION ORDER
I am compelled to write you in respect of your contract fund remittance, which transfer has remained unsuccessful.
I am very sure that you must have lost hope of ever getting your fund transfer released especially after all the frustrations, endless disappointment and broken promises in the hands of some officials.
However, I am writing you because i am familiar with the history of this fund release.
My privileged knowledge and acquanintance with this payment issue is due to my closeness and association with the immediate past Governor of the central bank of nigeria ,Dr Joseph Sanusi, who i worked with from 1999 until his voluntary retirement in may last year and in addition to the current position which i still maintain within the Bank.

Therefore, the information i am about to disclose is classified and should be treated as such and must not be revealed to any other nigerian official no matter your cordiality and closeness. This request must be noted in view of the fact that the current Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria ,Prof Charles Soludo is yet to be briefed on some outstanding issues and information by his predecessor and other top officials of the Bank who are not political appointees and who have worked in the bank for more than 2decades.

Briefly, I am quite sure that you must be wondering the reason behind the non-release of your contract fund after our Government officially granted approval for its remittance.
I may also believe that you would have received countless, unconfirmed and spurious payment Advices and remittance instuctions from some officials indicating that they have granted approval for the transfer of your fund.
You may have also been directed to visit different cities and countries with the instuction that your fund would be releaseed at such payment post or that your fund could be delivered to you at your residence.

All these are cooked up stories from impostors who wish to extort money from you while they do not have any knowledge of the true position of your fund transfer.
Meanwhile, i would like you to note the following.
(1)Our government has granted irrevocable payment approval for your fund remittance.
(2) Official release of this fund according to the record from the office of the Accountant General of the Federation and Ministry of Finance have been duly effected and documented.
(3) Your fund is presently being held at the HSBC bank international Ltd.(details available with me).

However for the avoidance of doubt, the reason for the non-release of the fund by the Correspondence Bank is due to the fact that the Bank has not received any direct instuction about the beneficiary of the outstanding amount as the fund is still being held in the name of the original contractor, ELBLAN IND.S.A. LUXEMBOURG,(details availble with me), in view of the non provision of a proof of ownership of the fund.
The original contractors in collaboration with a top official of the Trade & Exchange depatment of the central bank has been rolling the fund with the Foreign Bank and the interest is shared amongst the officials.

If you are very certain that you will not disclose this information to anyone, get back to me and i will give you further directives on what you should do immediately. Thank you, Yours Faithfully DR IDRIS USMAN.
------------------------------------
Just think ~ this kind soul is trying to save me from unscrulous people who would take advantage of my trusting nature, and wants to make sure I get my money ... oh ~ wait: WHAT money?

*sigh* ... dimbulbs.

DANG ... forgot to post one today!!

2007-12-12T17:23:00.000-08:00

I received a 'come-on' from .. hehe, a WOMAN (who, again, obviously pays no attention to whom she's addressing ~ I mean COME ON, if you're gonna scam people, at least increase your chances by aiming at the right targets .. which means, essentially, READWILLYA) who wants to meet me and live in my home to be my 'one and only forever', as was the gist of the letter.
I copied it with the immediate intent to paste it here, but got distracted by someone talking to me and, before I could stop myself, copied other text for the one talking to me.

GAHHHHH!!!! ... not only that, I had deleted the message (and emptied the trash), so it's gone. Oh well .. you get the idea.

Doofus didn't even get my address right ...

2007-12-10T23:52:00.000-08:00

Yahoos comin' outa da woodwoik ... always wonder how, if something isn't addressed to ME, I get it anyway!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Paul George
Sent:December 11, 2007 3:41:58 AM
Reply-to:paulgeorge_26@yahoo.co.uk
To: you@prod.shaw.ca
From Paul George
Hello ,It is a pleasure meeting you at last for i have waited for this golden moment.I am Paul Georgemanager in one of the prime bank in southafrica.Six months ago ,mylate customer died in a fatal accident and was buriedat the statecemetry.My late customer (Sir Michael Mcguigan ) hasan account with a credit balance of twenty six million dollars($26,000,000:00),which has been dormant for avery long time.All efforts to contactthe named beneficiary to late Sir Mcguigan 'sestate,with thesupplied information proved futile.My good friend ,amcontacting you because i want you to claim this money with me. i have thenecessary information and documents that would enableus this claim.Pleasekindly send me your urgent reply to enable me knowwhich other stepto take towards the claim of this money.Regards,Paul George
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I went to that Snopes site and was reading about Nigerian and other sorts of scams. The page is at http://www.snopes.com/crime/fraud/nigeria.asp.
I do strongly recommend reading it if you've not done so already at some point. Here I am, snickering at the thought of how stupid it is for these scammers who don't seem to realize others are doing the same thing .. and then I read that page about how successful it's actually been!!
Now THAT is scary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Incidentally, Ribeye, should you happen to read this entry, please would you note I'm changing the blog title because of how this thing shifted its focus. It will have a new name in a week, so the link you have on your blog will have time to reflect it.
Thanks!

SCAM SCAM SCAM SCAM SCAM ...

2007-12-09T07:26:00.000-08:00

"I DON'T LIKE SCAM!!!!" .. just then four Vikings at a nearby table begin to sing ...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
From the desk of: Hon. Senator David MarkPresident of the SenateFederal Republic of Nigeria.
110, Burma LayoutGarki,Abuja-Nigeria.
Cell Phone: + 234-703-2701156
Dear Sir,
I am Hon. Senator David Mark from Abuja-Nigeria. I need your confidentialpartnership. There is a box of money which I secretly despatched to America twodays ago and I need your assistance to help me to claim the box of money.

Thetotal amount in the box was $3Million [ all in $100 bills ].I do not want the Government of this country to notice this money. Hence, I needyour help urgently. If you can assist me to claim this fund in America, you willretain 30% of the $3Million as your share of the deal.

Please can you urgentlyhelp me out ? Kindly respond on time so that I would make you the beneficiary ofthe box of money and it will be released to you without delay.As soon as I get your response, I shall give you other vital information asregards the particular place where this box of money is in America.

It is worthyto inform you that this box of money was secretly despatched to America two daysago by a Diplomat. This was done under a very confidential arrangement. Andright now, the Diplomat is waiting for me to give him the name of thebeneficiary whom to deliver the box of to.

Therefore, as soon as I receive yourpositive response, I shall intruct the Diplomat to deliver the box to your doorstep.Then after the delivery of the box to you, it will be your responsibility tolodge the fund into your personal account pending my arrival in your country tomeet with you for the disbursement of the fund. I need to sneak into America tomeet with you. This is matter requires an urgent/prompt attention.

Waiting for your urgent response.
Hon. Senator David Mark
Cell Phone: + 234-703-2701156
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Oooohhh, I'm a *SIR*!!! ..

.. this blog began as a mildly amusing collection of misguided emails intended to charm me, and has plummetted into a cesspool.
Now I keep it to provide examples of the seemingly unlimited number of sheer IDIOTS who obviously assume they alone have discovered a secret key to untold wealth ... to say nothing of their (horrendous) literacy skills. It's one thing if English isn't one's first language, but come ON.

All you scammers/potential scammers ~ what could possibly possess you to believe this will improve your life? .. and why do you choose a method that is designed to cheat others?
---------------------
*sigh* ... just makes me wish I could thwack them with a fish. Seriously! I'm always so tempted to answer them, just to ask what WHAT WHAT on EARTH are they THINKING??? WHY do this? HOW become so deluded as to resort to spam/scam? .. and WHO would be thick enough to fall for it?

That's the scary part: obviously somebody HAS fallen for it, because it must work to some extent or it would stop, wouldn't ya think?

The loathed "Dear" from a smarmy stranger

2007-12-03T01:42:00.000-08:00

This winner thinks I'm going to be all in a tizzy because he 'chose' me. Whhooooohh!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------
(http://www.pricelesspartner.com/)
From: alexcsn
Subject: Hello Dear
Hello Dear,
My Name Is John Brown, I am just a new member on this website "PriceLessPartner" And my aim of been signed up on this website is for me to meet my own partner, which ibelieve it will surely happen by God's grace.
My mind tells me you are the lucky woman, so please do not hesitate to pay attention to my message and get back to me as soon as u can.
John Brown.
-------------------------------------------------------------

To: alexcsn
Subject: Re: Hello Dear
.... 'lucky', eh.
Well, I appreciate the compliment, but as I said I'm here ONLY for FRIENDS, nothing more.
Unfortunately I'm not good at responding favourably to being called "Dear" by people I don't know.
Good luck
-------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry Dude ~ I only give my time to those who actually make the effort to READ THE PROFILE.

Ya-HOOOOoooooWOOooohhH!

2007-12-01T10:52:00.000-08:00

I wonder why these yahoo users who peruse the singles sites are not apparently aware of each other. Don't they ever receive this sort of thing?
----------------------------------
From: cscp193826
Subject:hello
Message:
Hello, My name is Eric, i just finished going thru ur profile and i liked what i see,i must say thats a lovely pic u got there.i'll love to get aquinted with u if u dont mind u. hopefully this mail will find you in a perfect state of mind and good healthy condition. While going through the dating sites today, I came accross your profile which I personally find interesting and charming and decided to drop you few lines just to say hi,I am looking for a long term relationship in a woman of your kind who unerderstands the need to love and be loved. I have taken time to see the age difference between us but this is really within my choice of age range and I have no problems with that.I sincerely find you and what I have read so far from your profile very interesting and I will like to know and hear more from you. Included here with this mail is my email address through which you can reach me. eric_michael004@yahoo.com ERIC
----------------------------------
"I will like to" ... it's beginning to seem as if all these emails are from the same person posing as many others.

Another ... but not to me! .. eh??!

2007-11-29T12:35:00.000-08:00

This is one of those scams. It was not via the social sites but directly to my hotmail address, or so it seems; maybe the sender found me somewhere. Actually, after re-reading it, it seems it IS through a social network; my profile is mentioned.

Dunno ... Oh well. Here it is, including contact info in case you get similar:
------------------------------------
From Miss Marie Ahmed
From: marie ahmed Sent:November 29, 2007 6:02:45 PM
To: mh_441@latinmail.com (mh_441@latinmail.com) (how do you like that: it wasn't even to MY ADDRESS!! This isn't for me at all, so why/how did I get it?)
FROM MISS MARIE AHMED01 BP RUE 14 ABIDJAN COTE D IVOIRE. (look familiar?)
EMAIL- (MARIEAHMED_012@YAHOO.CO.JP) (not to mention the SHOUTING)
DEAREST ONE,GOOD A THING TO WRITE YOU.
I HAVE A PROPOSAL FOR YOU-THIS HOWEVER IS NOT MANDATORY NOR WILL I IN ANY MANNER COMPEL YOU TO HONOUR AGAINST YOUR WILL YOUR PROFILE PUSHED ME TO SEND YOU THIS MAIL, I AM MARIE AHMED 19 YEARS OLD AND THE ONLY DAUGHTER OF MY LATE PARENTS MR.AND MRS.HASSAN AHMED.MY FATHER WAS A HIGHLY REPUTABLE BUSINESS MAGNET-(A COCOA AND OIL MERCHANT)WHO OPERATED IN THE CAPITAL OF IVORY COAST DURING HIS DAYS.IT IS SAD TO SAY THAT HE PASSED AWAY MYSTERIOUSLY IN FRANCE DURING ONE OF HIS BUSINESS TRIPS ABROAD ON THE 24TH.NOVEMBER. 2003.

THOUGH HIS SUDDEN DEATH WAS LINKED OR RATHER SUSPECTED TO HAVE BEEN MASTERMINDED BY AN UNCLE OF HIS WHO TRAVELLED WITH HIM AT THAT TIME.BUT GOD KNOWS THE TRUTH! MY MOTHER DIED WHEN I WAS JUST 4 YEARS OLD,AND SINCE THEN MY FATHER TOOK ME SO SPECIAL.
BEFORE HIS DEATH HE CALLED THE SECRETARY WHO ACCOMPANIED HIM TO THE HOSPITAL AND TOLD HIM THAT HE DEPOSTED THE SUM OF THE SIX MILLION,THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATE DOLLARS.(USD$6.300,000) DEPOSITED IN A SUSPENCE ACCOUNT WITH ONE OF THE LOCAL BANKS HERE IN ABIDJAN,IVORY COAST IN FAVOUR OF ME AND I WILL LIKE YOU TO HELP ME TRANSFER THIS FUND TO YOUR ACCOUNT.

NOW I AM JUST 19 YEARS OLD AND A UNIVERSITY UNDERGRADUATE AND REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.THIS IS BECAUSE I HAVE SUFFERED A LOT OF SET BACKS AS A RESULT OF INCESSANT POLITICAL CRISIS HERE IN IVORY COAST.THE DEATH OF MY FATHER ACTUALLY BROUGHT SORROW TO MY LIFE.I AM IN A SINCERE DESIRE OF YOUR HUMBLE ASSISTANCE IN THIS REGARDS.YOUR SUGGESTIONS AND IDEAS WILL BE HIGHLY REGARDED.DEAREST YOU WILL NEED TO HELP ME PROVIDE A GOOD ACCOUNT WHERE THIS FUND WILL BE TRANSFERED IN YOUR COUNTRY.AFTER WHICH I CAN JOIN YOU IN YOUR COUNTRY TO COMPLETE MY UNIVERSITY EDUCATION.
NOW PERMIT ME TO ASK THESE FEW QUESTIONS

1. CAN YOU HONESTLY HELP ME AS YOUR SISTER?
2. CAN I COMPLETELY TRUST YOU?
3. WHAT PERCENTAGE OF THE TOTAL AMOUNT IN QUESTION WILL BE GOOD FOR YOU AFTER THE MONEY IS IN YOUR ACCOUNT?
PLEASE,CONSIDER THIS AND GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.THANK YOU SO MUCH AND MAY GOD BLESS US.
YOURS SINCERELY ONE,
MISS MARIE AHMED
Las más bellas del planeta, en Miss Mundo 2007 http://www.starmedia.com/entretenimiento/especiales/misses.html
------------------------------------
These people trying to scam others are unaware of how many have done the same thing.

okay, I broke down and replied to him ..

2007-11-20T12:26:00.000-08:00

This guy needed a spoken-to, and I didn't feel like letting him go on untold ...
----------------------

Sent To:cscp194026
Subject: with respect ??
Message Sent:Johnnie, while I think the picture is of a very VERY handsome man, I wonder if you're unaware of the hundreds of emails I've received from men who are saying very similar things to me.

For starters, we've never met, and I don't respond to strangers who call me 'Dear'. I'm curious how you can be so sure I'm right for you. Not only that, but if you actually HAD read my profile, you'd see that I'm not even here for dates at all. I'm here only for friends. No more.

It's been my consistent experience with yahoo email users that these 'too good to be true' messages are, in fact, NOT true. I can't even be certain that's YOUR picture, or if it is, how recent it is.
You say lots of wonderful things and you present as a 'catch', but I don't believe you're on the level, and for that reason, I regret the answer is NO.
Please do not ever email me again, or I'll report you. I'm not the slightest bit interested in you now, or ever.
May God show you what IS REAL, not this drivel you're trying to pass off as sincerity.

----------------------

This fellow had a very VERY handsome pic .. but

2007-11-20T10:30:00.001-08:00

He uses a yahoo address, which right away blows his cover; *sigh* ... another scam.

It's just one more ploy the scammers are pulling; instead of posting their own pictures, they find a photo of someone who is drop-dead gorgeous (basically someone who has his choice and would not need to resort to the typical spiel sent indiscriminately out to hundreds of *they hope* unsuspecting lonelies .. but that if he were so desperate, he has deeper issues than just being single!) and I'll grant sometimes it IS that guy's picture, but it's several years old, taken back when he still had good (or any) hair & teeth.

---------------------

2007-11-20 (http://www.singles.org/)
From: cscp194026
Subject: Hello
Message: Hi Dear, How are you doing today hope fine ,well am cool .this is the first time am using this dating site ,i was looking through single profile and i noticed that yours was different thats to say i like your pics and profile and i will like to get to know more about you ,pls go through my profile and se if we have alot in common ,for i know you are what i am looking for in a relationship and i hope i get to know you better . I am looking for a God fearing ,honest and truthful woman ,some one who will be there for me and the kids some one to be honest with for ever and watch the kid grow ,some one to get old together and above all some one to be a prayer partner .feel so free to write me back at john_albert2003@yahoo.com ,stay cool and God bless . Johnnie.
---------------------

These messages are also worded strategically with intent to instill a guilty conscience if the women turn them down, ... i.e. "how could you be so shallow and unwilling to give this really nice guy a chance?" The good looking picture is added for extra punch, making the sell even more aggressive.

The hapless uninformed are led to believe this man is on the level, because he's a sincere believer in God, and does things for the poor, helps in his church, values family, marriage and children, spends daily time reading his Bible, etc etc ... blah blah blah ..

I mean, those qualities and morals are all good, right? They are considered top-notch on the sites that draw these scammers to use whatever desire there is to trust a potential new mate.

Couple the pic with the puppy dog pitch and you have a recipe for heartache aimed at the naïve & unrealistic.

Consider this, then, a general warning to avoid users of yahoo email addresses.

Of course there are always exceptions but as a rule IF YOU DON'T KNOW the person, for safety's sake, presume it's a scammer.

If you're on a social connection website, likely many of the users have yahoo addresses, so watch for how wordy their first introductions are. Not only that, but a key tipoff is the poor literacy. Their text shows English may not be their primary language. For example, "i will like to" is inconsistent with the guy's picture. He's trying to pass off as a Caucasian, but his syntax ~ "I am looking for a God fearing ,honest and truthful woman ,some one who will be there for me and the kids some one to be honest with for ever and watch the kid grow ," .. shows he is trying wa-a-a-ay too hard to seem good at his English.

Watch out for these discrepancies in typed speech.

By the way, I'm not suggesting that foreign men are to be avoided. It's not the nationality that concerns me, but the attempt to disguise it by using a fake photo and having worded their messages in such a clumsy way that it's obvious they're scamming.

Honesty is international, as is dishonesty.

Also, if they're saying things that seem 'too good to be true', well .. that's the major red flag, especially if they don't know you either, and are slathering praise upon your profile, saying they think you may be the one, etc. They, like this twerp, may also begin with a term of endearment. This is highly inappropriate when they don't KNOW you!!

A legitimate note from a real seeker would be more awkward and shy. He would probably not know how to articulate more than something like "hi, I read your profile and I thought I'd say hi." .. y'know, bland and boring.

It's the overcharmers who are like too much caffeine and sugar; the rush is followed by the inevitable crash.

The 'boring' ones are the substantial types who, if allowed time to come out of their timid shells, will most likely prove the most loyal and strongest of character.

This just in ..

2007-11-19T17:56:00.000-08:00

~ from another one of the few sites where I *actually do* meet nice people, but as always there are the ones who just don't pay attention ....
---------------------------
2007/11/19 (www.fusion101.com)
From:aminat
Subject: Hello,
Message:Hi there,hello how are you doing? i hope fine and i pray that the Almighty God will always make you fine. well, my name is Paul David. i am a citized of USA but reside presently in the UK. Incase you dont have much time to go into my profile i want to give you a briefing about myself.Although i am not a christain by birth but im now a born again christain. i love kids and i love offering arms to the needy. i am an accountant by profession but by calling i am a talented preacher and i also go on christain missions.i love singing and playing musical instruments mostly on sunday services.i love the base and acoustic guitar.i also play violin. im new to this site and my mission here is to search for my fortune.....a woman i will spend my life with.......a God fearing darling. while i was breezin thru the site, i saw your profile and thought i would be nice to contact you. its really lovely and i wont mind a reply from you. Incase you need to know more about me feel free to ask i will provide all the answers at my best. anyway my email address is paul.david20@yahoo.co.uk and feel free to add me so as to have a chance to share ideas and talk better. bye and may GOD bless you. i will be awaiting your reply."
---------------------------
It's the yahoo address that predominantly gives these fools away. Evidently it never occurred to them that OTHER PEOPLE MIGHT DO THE SAME THING ...

Here .. the waiting queue

2007-11-19T13:13:00.000-08:00

Well, as promised ... I've posted the recent foibles of my adoring clueless wonders. How they manage to completely re-invent me is staggering. My profile is deliberately worded so as to REJECT this kind of attention, as well as REPEL it. I am on the sites using the provided option of "just buddies", yet I get this stuff.
They blithely, obtusely troop on, utterly ignoring the fact of what I said, and tell me how my profile made them just HAVE to get to know me!

If they indeed read said profile, they're stupider than I thought, and if they didn't, well.. they're still stupid because they think it will get them somewhere to try selling me all this delusionally self-aggrandizing, insipid drivel.
--------------------------
2007-11-15 (http://www.singles.org/)
From:cscp193951
Subject:Hello Belove.
Message: Hello Belove. Calvary greeting in name of our lord Jesus Christ. My great pleasure sending you my special greetings, How are yeah doing , geuss you doing very great I when through your profile and I like what I saw, if you don't mind I would really love to know more about you , me I am big into music , I lead & play worship at varies different event ,I have lead worship at my church for the past 6 years ,I play guitar bass kayboards & drums.gosple music is my passion , I live the christian life to the best of my ability. I am interested in you after going through your profile in single.org and feel I should know you better. you are free to send me via email collinshorton1@yahoo.com My best reagrds and Happy weeked . Sincerely Collins.
--------------------------
2007-11-9 (http://www.yourchristianzone.com/)
From:patrick001
Subject: Hi Angel
Message:Hello baby i am Patrick by name i found ur profile nice and lovely i am single and looking for someone as beautiful and lovely as you are..i am an honesty man.i lost my wife few years back.i work with an animal research company and i am an hard working man.i came across ur profile and i will love to get to know much about you.because i have the feelings that we can work something out and be the best couple if things work out well.i got a duagther whoms name is Becca she is just 9 years old.Have been the one taking care of her since i lost her mother and i think is time i have someone to be her new and take care of her due to the nature of my Job..if you want to know to much about you can you IM with my yahoo screen name at (patrick1010000) and you can also email me directly to my email address at (patrick1010000@yahoo.com ).i will like to meet and i will also like to know much about you sweety.
--------------------------
2007-10-26 (http://www.singles.org/)
From: cscp193493
Subject: hello victoria
Message: Hi am jeff george johnson,i was searching through the net and i saw ur profile and immediately my attention was brought to it,which irealy likes everything about your self description and ur looks.i thought within myself if only u can be the right partner which i ve been asking all days from God.i ll be very grateful if only my proposal of knowing u better is been granted.am really loking forward to hear from u soonest,here is my mail address caringandlovingheart@yahoo.com thanx from jeff george johnson
--------------------------
2007-11-15 (http://www.singles.org/)
From: cscp193572
Subject: Hi beauty
Message: Hello,Hi *Angle Well i would like you to know that i came across your profile and was stunned,deemed it fit that we should get to know ourselves as i am a man with so much to learn and also so much to give out,i heart skipped a beat for a slight second when i saw your profile and said to myself that knowing you would be great and that if i ever had the chance to chat or talk to you i would make sure you enjoyed every bit of our conversation,so please do me a favour and allow us know each other by sending me your yahoo address so i can add you to my messenger and there we can really talk and know more about ourselves.here is mine so you can add me to yours or send an email to me and i promise to reply it okay. eric_29online@yahoo.com Eric.
---------------------------
* (Freudian slip? .. we see he has an angle .. LOL)
... *sigh* .. by the way I quit answering them. They're idiots.

I'm returning within a week.

2007-11-15T14:40:00.000-08:00

My Dad just passed away yesterday, and I need a bit more down time.

I already have a few new messages to post here but one is on another computer disk so I'll get them all here when I get back.

Thanks to all for your patience and understanding.

WizeChiklet

I have to take a break.

2007-10-25T18:02:00.000-07:00

Don't give up on me, ok? .. I'll be back, I promise.

WizeChiklet

Another quiet spell ..

2007-10-22T14:31:00.000-07:00

It seems almost every time I say this, I start getting bombarded. That's okay .. I actually look forward to seeing more twits.

Now I'm wondering if yourchristianzone dealt yet with the email privacy issue. I didn't like the ability of strangers to obtain my personal address! What a dumb idea .. what were they thinking??

Got to deal with this ... YCZ shouldn't enable email fetching.

2007-10-20T10:45:00.000-07:00

Yep ~ I need me a chatzki with the friendly folx down at 'your christian zone', because they have a nasty little feature that lets users grab others' real email addresses! I got this today:
__________________________________________________
(c/o www.yourchristianzone.com)
"From:Aisha Ali (aisha_ali030@yahoo.com)
Date:Saturday, October 20, 2007 2:18 AM
Subject:Greetings
Bismillaahir-Rahmaanir-Raheem

Dear Beloved,

I send my love and greetings to you. I am Mrs.Aisha Ali, from MALAYSIA. I am married to Late Dr.Omar M. Ali, of blessed memory who was oil explorer in Kuwait and Brunei for ten years before he died in the year 2003. We were married for ten years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days, may his soul rest In the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful. Before his death we converted from Christian to a devoted Muslim, and respect others who serves him, Since his death, I too have been battling with both Cancer and fibroid problems, my doctor told me that I have less than three months to live due to my cancer problem, and this lead to a stroke attack which bother me most though because i cannot move as i use to.

Having known my condition I decided seek for yourhelp in ALLAH'S work.I am in search of a good Muslim whom i can entrust a fund to. either a philanthropic organization or devoted individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. When my late Husband was alive he Deposited the sum of $5million (five Million U.S Dollars) in a Finance Firm under my name for family reasons.

So if you are willing to help me for our Allah's work just like Prophet Muhammad (saas) was the final Messenger of Allah to humanity: 20% of the US$5million goes to you to ensure that you are prepared for the task ahead, 75% of it will be used in all sincerity to fund philanthropic organization, orphanages and widows, while 5% of the will go to the family Attorney who will prepare the Authorization.

I am taking this decision because the relatives of my husband have confiscated other of our wealth's due to my husband and I converted to a Muslim. Based on that i don't want to in trust this fund to non believers.and i have no child, which i cannot take the fund to the grave. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner, As a child of ALLAH,i did remember about how it was written in the Quran "It is not righteousness that you turn your faces towards East or West; but it is righteousness to believe in ALLAH and the Last Day and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask; and for the freeing of captives; to be steadfast in prayers, and practice regular charity; to fulfill the contracts which you made; and to be firm and patient in pain (or suffering) and adversity and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the ALLAH conscious." (2:177) hence i took the bold decision. Since my health is retrogressing by all minut.

So my dear beloved, do get back to me and let me know if you are willing to carry out this Allah work. Then I will make arrangement to prepare the Authorization through the my Attorney for you to get Possession of this Fund. As soon as I receive your reply.

I pray that this letter bring you and your family good tiding while my dreams to help humanity rest squarely on your shoulders. May the Almighty ALLAH continue to guide and protect you.Do remember me in your prayer because that is what i needed most for now.
waasalam.

Mrs.Aisha Ali."
--------------------------------
Do You Yahoo!?Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com
__________________________________________________
Gadzoox ... SPAMMERS comin' out the yin-yang!

WHY can't these guys READ??

2007-10-18T10:39:00.000-07:00

It's either one of those scams (note the yahoo address) or just another clueless sap who doesn't think to READ.
_____________________________________
"From: cscp193306
Subject: hello
Message:
Hi, my name is James Williams, and I am here to look for a soul mate. I'm kind-hearted, and easy-going. I am honest, caring, funny and humorous. I like reading, traveling, watching TV, and listening to music. I like going out for dinner, and like going walk.My email address is dogsinate007@yahoo.com,you can also add me to yahoo mesesenger I hope you are honest and loving. James"
_____________________________________
The thing too is that answering them is pointless: they would probably follow it up with additional drivel. *hmmm ... * Maybe I should answer just to see what I get?
....
NAHHH.

COPY-PASTE ARTIST with AMNESIA!

2007-10-17T11:51:00.000-07:00

This guy is a repeat offender. I felt sorry for him the first time ... I don't know which way he's a bigger idiot ~ thinking it would work, or thinking it would never get found out.
________________________________
(http://www.singles.org)
"From: cscp61519
Subject: hi
Message: Hi, I read your ad and I'd like to use this opportunity to let you know that I love your profile and I'll truly like to be your friend, if you let me that is...... I a very strange way, I feel very attracted to you and all that went to my mind was to write and just let you know about it... I hope we'll get to something tangible as I am looking forward to knowing you, this is true and I speak from the heart. I am a black male, simple, truthful, funny, affectionate, straight to the point and most of all, I am capable of falling in love with the right woman that vibrates at my same frequency and I think that you are that kind of lady I currently reside in Banjul, The Gambia, a small tourist city in the most westerly part of West Africa with lots of sunshine, beach life and beautiful nature; its people are very friendly. I'll stop here for now, wishing a most lovely ! day and anticipating your soonest respons e. Cheers"
________________________________
... oh, but wait! I had to send him this:

"I wanted to share something with you.
-september 29, 2007-
"From: cscp61519
Subject: Hi,
Message: Hi, I read your ad and I'd like to use this opportunity to let you know that I love your profile and I'll truly like to be your friend, if you let me that is...... I a very strange way, I feel very attracted to you and all that went to my mind was to write and just let you know about it... I hope we'll get to something tangible as I am looking forward to knowing you, this is true and I speak from the heart. I am a black male, simple, truthful, funny, affectionate, straight to the point and most of all, I am capable of falling in love with the right woman that vibrates at my same frequency and I think that you are that kind of lady I currently reside in Banjul, The Gambia, a small tourist city in the most westerly part of West Africa with lots of sunshine, beach life and beautiful nature; its people are very friendly. I'll stop here for now, wishing a most lovely ! day and anticipating your soonest response.please l will want you to email me through my email box which is ****@hotmail.com
Cheers"
--------------
This exact same message is now posted in my blog .. twice.
Except for the hotmail address, it's word-for-word!!
I'd rather not have to report you, so please do yourself a favour and send original letters to women, because we can tell it's a copy-paste. It shows you DID NOT READ MY PROFILE.
I wish you peace. Please do me the same."

________________________________

I wish I'd kept all the other usernames & addresses now ...

2007-10-17T02:05:00.000-07:00

Originally, the sites from which these messages have been collected were meant as a way to make some friends and increase my social horizon. It was never intended to draw the attention of anybody for romantic reasons. Because of the cluelessness of about 97% of my writers, I was getting annoyed that nobody seemed to care that my profile clearly states I'm only there for friends. I felt it was a waste of time.

However, in light of this rather astounding barrage of totally *wacky* correspondence, I've decided to maintain my memberships on the sites. This is getting funnier with every new email I get! Not only that, now I have a 'net' that can expose these creeps for the scammers they are. That's why I chose to show their names and addresses after all. I was initially thinking it's better to guard their privacy ... but NOT when they're trying to deceive the innocently helpful.
Try emailing one of them! See what happens. Bait them right back. Make up a phony account and play along. See how far they try to lead you down the garden path.

.... twits.

LOL ... "DODO" is RIGHT!

2007-10-17T01:46:00.000-07:00

... yep, here's another winner:
______________________________________
(http://www.yourchristianzone.com/)
"NickName: francklove
Sex: male
Age: uknown
From:United States
Date:10-17-07
Subject: franck_dodo07@yahoo.co.uk
franck_dodo07@yahoo.co.uk Greetings Dear,I have just gone through a profile that speaks good of you in this site and it interests me to contact you for an investment of the money 9.8 Million US dollars my father deposited in a bank here in my country cote d'ovoire before he was assasinated.though we have never seen nor met in person before but i decided to contact you because i know that there are good peole out there that one can trust and rely on and i feel that you are one among these good people and i belive that you will treat me honestly during the investment of this money in your country,as you can see this money is my only hope of survival.meanwhile,immediately i hear from you i will then give you the contacts of the bank so that you can contact them on my behalf for the transfer of the money to your country for investment and also help me to come over to you country so that i can continue my education from where i stopped when my father was assasinated.i want you to know that i am presently hiding in a hotel because of the people that assasinated my father and i have decided to remain here until this money is transfered to your country. please do not delay to reply to my private email address 'franck_dodo07@yahoo.co.uk Regards franck_dodo"
______________________________________
What amazes me is how these wannabe welchers don't imagine ANYBODY ELSE HAS EVER DONE THIS. Here's a quoted bit from a previous email:
______________________________________
"Subject: From Abidjan Cote d' Ivoire
From Abidjan Cote d' Ivoire West Africa. Attention: Respectful Greetings and How are you today, Iam simon olubuihe The Only Son of chief late Ibrahim olubuihe. Please my dear I would like you to permit me to apply through this medium for your co-operation and to secure an opportunity to invest and do joint relationship and business with you in your country. I have a substantial capital I honourably Inherited from my late father late Chief Olubuihe who was minister of Interior and deal in Cocao and coffee platation and share from family Gold, diamond Minining site.The Epmigo rebels killed Him recently in political crisis in our country that have resulted to war since this past two years... "
______________________________________
Gee ~ what a coincidence! They're BOTH from Cote d' Ivoire, and they BOTH have dads who got killed in some political crisis, and .. they BOTH offer me scads of free money just for helping them get it out of their country!
... What are the odds?? Once again, I simply *must* be of assistance. These people are truly honest and reliable. Don't you think?

BOTTLENECKED!!! .... eep

2007-10-16T17:22:00.000-07:00

I really DID speak too soon. All this in one day! .. goodness gracious. Anyway, here are two of them in a row, in reverse receipt order:
"From: cscp193279
Subject: Hi Cutie...
Message:
How r u doing today?..... I am Ryan Newmann 35yrs old ,from,grand rapids Mn was browsing through when i luckily came across ur profile...Damn babe, ur so pretty wish we were together right away. pls hit me back if u want to know much about me...i ll always be glad to read 4rm u Incase u wondering wht i do 4 living..well i m self employed own a store of my own,plus i m in the Oil Field too. I love all good things in general..would want to know much about you,and wht u really like...i seek a soulmate on here,hope i m gonna find it,I ve really suffered a lot 4rm heart breaks so i dont want that drama in ma life no more. my email is ryan_newmann@yahoo.com or ryan_newmann@hotmail.com i do chat with these id's,so pls baby add me up to ur buddylist so we could have a kool chat someday. hope to tlk to u or read some of ur mail soon bye now sweetie dnt hurt urself Hugs and Kisses Ryan"
___________________________________________
"From: cscp193278
Subject: Hi
Message:
My name is fred........Am originally from the in the united states i am an America my mom is a southern American and my dad is originally from africa.......am single,i work in the construction company as a building and housing constructor and also as a road constructor too,my hobbies are hanging out with pals,reading,dining out,being creative at my leisure time,listening to music,traveling,watching basketball also watching football esp soccer,basketball,and reading the bible. i went through your profile and i think i like your profile and will also love to know much more about you...if u care to see my pics i think u should contact me through my mail...my hot mail screen name is fredluv@hotmail.com and my yahoo id is creamyguy_07@yahoo.com it will be nice to read ur email.i will prefer if u can send ur mails directly to any of these box so that i can easily check on it...or better still u add me so that we can chat... Hope to chat with you real soon. Take care, fred............ "
___________________________________________
Sorry, guys .. you did NOT read the profile, therefore you shall have no response from me.
?! .... "creamyguy"??? ****** EWWWWW!!!!!!!! *********

SPAM SPAM SPAM ..

2007-10-16T15:38:00.000-07:00

Okay, obviously the bulk of these messages are scams (a common ploy is to offer an offsite email addy, in order to get the unwitting in a more personal interaction) and they do all seem to come in droves.
This is from a WOMAN!!!
______________________________________________
(http://www.singles.org/)
"From: cscp192489
Subject: FROM: KOFFI JULIET
Message:
FROM: KOFFI JULIET COUNTRY: ABIDJAN, IVORYCOAST EMAILS ( koffi_juliet10@yahoo.fr ) DEAR, I GOT YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION THROUGH THIS SITE. AND I DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU,HOPING THAT BY ALMIGHTY GOD GRACE YOU WILL SUCCESSFULLY ASSIST ME OUT FROM MY SITUATION AFTER MY SEVEN GOOD DAYS PRAYERS AND FASTING OVER SEEKING FOR AN OVERSEES GUARDANCE . I AM KOFFI JULIET (22 YEARS OLD) THE ONLY DAUGHTER OF LATE CHIEF JOSEPH KOFFI WHO WAS A FAMOUS AND WEALTHY COCOA MERCHANT BASED IN ABIDJAN,THE ECONOMIC CAPITAL OF IVORYCOAST. I AM SEEKING FOR YOUR URGENT ATTENTION TO HELP ME TRANSFER THE SUM OF (US$10,500,000.00 )TEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATE OF AMERICAN DOLLARS INTO YOUR NOMINATED BANK ACCOUNT OVERSEAS FOR AN INVESTMENTS PURPOSES,SUCH AS REAL ESTATES MANAGEMENTS AND STOCK MARKERTS. THE FUND WAS DEPOSITED IN FIXED SUSPENCE ACCOUNT PLEASE , I AM WILLING TO OFFER YOU 20% OUT OF THIS MY TOTAL FUND AS YOUR COMMISSION FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE TO ME.PLEASE KINDLY WRITE IMMEDIATELY FOR MORE IMPORTANT DETAILS CONCERNING THIS MY MUTUAL TRANSACTION. YOURS FAITHFULLY, KOFFI JULIET NOTE: I HAVE ALL THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTS IN RELATION TO THIS MY FUND DEPOSITED BY MY LATE FATHER IN THE BANK. AND ALSO KINDLY REPLY ME ON THIS MY PRIVATE EMAIL ( koffi_juliet10@yahoo.fr ) FOR CONFIDENTIAL AND SECURITY REASONS OK THANKS."
______________________________________________
OOOohhhh, I gotta help her. I just gotta. She's really truly in trouble! I must be generous, helpful and very, VERY STUPID.

A~HAAAAhhhh, spoke too soon!

2007-10-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

(http://www.singles.org/)
"From: cscp193267
Subject: hello
Message:
hello baby, kindly, i want to introduce myself to you my name is johnson mark, im 37 yrs old single from bronx ny i was bron and grow up and aslo study in bronx im a building contractor by profession im looking for a serious,descent and honest woman who know whats love is what about, a serious and hand working woman who can take good care of home, if u r interested add me in my yahoo ID or msn, so that we can talk and know each other better my yahoo id is love_goodlove5000 my msn id is love_goodlove5000@hotmail.com am looking forward to hear from you Regards... johnson"
__________________________________
Know what? .. from now on I'm just leaving the names and other IDs visible. These guys are so obviously desperate for patsies that perhaps I should help them along ... either that or WARN others as a public service.

Could this be it?? ... it's soooo quiet.

2007-10-15T20:38:00.001-07:00

Hey, I'm not getting any further messages. With 3 sites, it's weird that they just STOPPED altogether.
My theory is that it was a serial spammer who finally got caught.
*sigh* ... unless this is speaking too soon, I guess that's it for my gallery of goo.

I'll catch up in a week or so if nothing else happens sooner.

Could he BE any more ignorant??

2007-10-12T15:38:00.000-07:00

Okay ~ THIS is my updated profile on (http://www.yourchristianzone.com/):

"VIRTUAL KISS VISITOR ~ KNOCK IT OFF.
To "Visitor(s)" who keep sending me 'virtual kisses', would you cut it out, please? For one thing, you're anonymous so it's a COWARDLY thing you're doing. For another, I'm NOT INTERESTED in being 'kissed'. I don't know what thrills you're getting, but just STOP it.
I'm on this site ONLY for FRIENDS, nothing else. If I get emails asking me to contact you at another address, I will not answer.I am not interested in long-distance anything, so please don't email me looking for a partner.--If you've read this, and you still email me for romantic reasons, I WILL NOT ANSWER.
----------------------
To those gentlemen who DO sincerely seek my *strictly platonic* friendship, THANK YOU. You're the reason I don't just give up on this site.
-----
I guess I have to say this more strictly, since some have not understood
I AM *NOT AVAILABLE* FOR A ROMANTIC PARTNERSHIP."

.. and today I get this:
______________________________________

"Hello my dear,, How is the atmostphric condition of nature?hope is conducive.My name is Michael but friend's call me micky.I live in Malasia,but i'm from Nigeria 26year's old.I'm honest, sincer,i have good sense of humor. i'm open minded some one who is lookin for a sincer relationship, true love, It will be my pleasure to have u as my fiance.I will be very delightiful to hear from you soon, untill we meet.Thank's.WELL I GOT U CONTECT INFORMATION FROM YOUR CHRISTIAN ZONE"
______________________________________
.. I mean, COME ON!! Am I to seriously believe this fellow CANNOT UNDERSTAND what my profile says? .. here's the picture I have up on THAT one! *Va-Va-VoOm*, what a BABE!!
Get real, guys.
... (mind you, it could be a scam, there's enough gullibility in cyberspace to invite it). I read his profile on the site and he's only 26, and he says he's seeking women 25 to 30 or whatever. Hello? .. did he also manage to skip over my age?
"DENSUS GOOFUS OMITI MAGNIFICUS"

When it starts with "Hello Pretty";

2007-10-06T02:00:00.000-07:00

... what impression would it make on you?
________________________________________
"NickName: (he flatters himself)
Sex: male
Age: uknown
From: United States
Date: 10-06-07
Subject: Hello Pretty
hello how are you doing?hope everything is goingfine am just new here on this site so i go throughyour profile and i really like what i see there so idecided to mail you and if you dont mind we shouldknow more about each other.i work as a Construction Engineer in unitedstate as scouting manager this is my mail ok pls ****@yahoo.com i will be waiting for your and to hear from you soon okay.mail ok or you can buzz me and if you dont mind send me your yahooid so i can send you message or chatt with you ok.take good care ofur self.peace."
________________________________________
Again ~ I'm stymied by what they like so much.
... and WHAT IS IT with all these YAHOO addresses, anyway??
About 97% of the guys on these things are asking me to email them at their YAHOO address, as if no other email services exist!

Form letters, copy-pasted to everyone!

2007-10-06T00:15:00.000-07:00

.. I tellya, that's gotta be it: how else can it be that these guys claim to think so highly of me from my profile? This one mentioned whom "I'm looking for" .. UM, excuse me? Where in my blurb do I say I'm seeking dates??
__________________________________
(http://www.singles.org/)
"From: cscp****
Subject: Hello There
Message:
Hey Ma Happy blessed friday and Calvary Greetings unto you~How're you doing right there and how has been your day?spendid. I'm a new member right here as i'm totally new to online dating.just checking out the chrisitian forum right here and given it a trial but i'm hopeful something good will come out of it.I ran into your profile and i deemed it neccessary to drop you some lines.Your profile seems to be simple,interesting and intriguing most especially by your description and whom you're looking for also the way you smile,so adorable and angelic. I'd like to get to know you and exchange lines with you if you don't mind.You may feel free to ask me whatever that crosses your mind and i'm open to any questions whatsoever I hope you find time to drop me some lines soon. I hope to read from you soon Till then Take care and have a blessed weekend Philip"
__________________________________
... "Hey Ma"????
Does this fellow have a mother attachment complex, or is it some cultural speech expression? Anyway, I decided to respond, and sometimes I do now if it's a relatively polite letter.

Sent To:cscp****
Subject: not here for dating sorry
Message Sent:
thanks for writing but I'm here for just friendship,
nothing more .. best regards

__________________________________
I just don't know how much plainer I can be. He thought I looked angelic. He has nooooooo idea ..

THEY DON'T BELIEVE ME???

2007-10-03T13:48:00.000-07:00

... boggles the mind.
Here's another one. I tellya, I'm not making these things up! One might suspect me of it since the messages are just *bombarding* me, and I can't get over these responses to the profile I wrote!
__________________________________
(www.singles.org)
"From: cscp*****
Subject: Hello
Message:
Hello, How are you doing.. My Name is David,i red your profile and i really liked it that was why i mailed you. I am single and looking for my soulmate,ultimately a life long companion to enjoy all life has to offer. I'd like to start our friendship through communication by getting to know you and your heart,your likes, dislikes, habits, and personality. I look forward to hear from you.. Pls feel free to reply me back on my eamil address wich is, ***@yahoo.com and if you also have a yahoo mail that will be lovely for us to chat on yahoo messenger and also get back at me with your email address so that i can send you my pic. Thanks and i hope to hear from you as soon as possible. David."
__________________________________
boggles ... the ... mind.
I'm not responding to this guy who has clearly NOT paid any attention to anything I said.
See, sometimes a person actually does accept that we'd just be friends. That's why I use the site. It's a ratio of about 20/1 in favour of those whose letters are represented by David here ...

It's astounding ...

2007-10-03T10:07:00.000-07:00

What causes me the most marvel is how someone with a profile the way MINE is worded is THIS POPULAR. If they'd read it rationally, I'm hardly the magnet they make me out to be.
Therefore I've decided to re-display it, with the picture that seems to be driving the poor boys to distraction ... what is it about this photo?? The hair is messy, it's not even a clear image, and ... really: for all they know, it could be a total fake. I might be a 99-year-old man with no hair at all, rotted teeth, crossed eyes, etc..
these guys are jumping to a LOT of conclusions about me just from this blurry little pic.

The profile gist, then, is here:

"User ID: cscp189704
Age Range: 40-47
Height: 5'3
Weight: 185-199lbs
Eye Color: Blue
City: Victoria
Headline: HERE FOR *ONLY FRIENDS*, NOTHING ELSE.
What Kim is looking for in a person:
Please don't write to me if you want a romantic partner, ok? I won't reply, and your email will be deleted.
Kim's Personality, Character Traits, Faith, etc:
I'm overweight. I don't get out much to exercise, and my apartment is very cluttered. I am stubborn, moody and I don't take much of life seriously, even church. I love God, but I didn't come to faith by way of church, so I don't have a religious routine. I don't pray in tongues, raise my hands, or have daily devotions. I make a really good friend. THAT'S ALL. NOTHING MORE!! ...................... EVER!!"

Here's today's unfortunate stuck fly (I never keep them, I let them all go ~ I'm not a mean or deliberate spider).

______________________________________

(http://www.singles.org/)

"From: cscp*****

Subject: Hello

Message:
Blessed Morning greetings to you Smiling Sister in the Lord, How are you doing today? I wish you a very good day, i liked your profileAnd your bright smile is what made me stop nd send you a message, I am looking for a good christian woman who will give love with no intention to hurt, I know that it is in the Lord's grace that love comes from and that is why i will like to know if you're as nice mannered as ur smile portrays,it has been a while that i have been looking at your profile,I will like to know if you have found someone yet,if not,then i will be happy if you can e-mail me back..... Thanks for reading. I like what i see....i hope you like mine too.. You've such wide smile that attracts me honestly. Thanks and remain blessed in the Lord's name. Mark"

______________________________________

I guess I sort of feel bad for not writing back, but if they're not swift enough to have grasped what my profile says, it would be like kicking puppies to send them my rejection letter. Obviously someone who builds goo around me (to such an extent that he sincerely expects a reply!!) isn't quite possessed of the whole deck, has some Oreos missing from the bag, needs a new light bulb, etc. ... is either wa-a-a-a-ay too sensitive to cope well with a 'no thanks', OR he's got the teachability of a lead pipe.

GUYS, READ THE PROFILE.

... actually I decided I would reply, just because I felt like setting him straight. Most of the time I don't bother, but something about him seemed like he'd benefit from the truth. Come to think of it, I did that the previous time too .. oh well anyway, here's what I said:

Sent To: cscp******
Subject: nice of you, but no thanx
Message Sent:
(*please* read the profile of a person before investing feelings such as you've expressed to me. They're very kind, and I'm flattered.)
However, I am NOT looking for more than JUST FRIENDS, ok? I typically don't even answer this kind of message but I don't want to be mean to you.
sorry, take it easy, best wishes.

______________________________________
Well, he might take offense .. which is always a chance I take when responding to these fellas. I can't block people on singles.org, so I just have to hope they move on without vitriol. Personally I wish that site would upgrade to feature filters and blocking, but for now it's still usable. If they do write again and it's unpleasant, I simply don't reply.

*sigh* ... next?

Sometimes I have to get them to be specific.

2007-10-01T13:21:00.001-07:00

This guy just said he wants to know me better. I don't know if he's just interested in platonic friendship or is trying to smuggle himself, so I will be updating this, depending on his response. If he doesn't answer, I will have my answer.
___________________________
(http://www.singles.org/)
"From: cscp*****
Subject: hi
Message:
Am Tom By name i will love to know more of you,..I amdire you person and i am Intrested in Knowing you better. You could send me an e-mail directly to my yahoo i.d (*****@yahoo.com).I will be looking forward to hear from you. Regards,. Tom ***"
This is what I sent to him:

"From: cscp189704
Subject: R U seeking a partner?
Message:
do you just want friendship only with me, with no chance of a relationship?"

___________________________
If he does reply, it'll be within the next day or so, otherwise I'll consider him screened out.
~*~*~*~*~
UPDATE: Yes, he did reply, and he must be screened out.
"From: cscp*****
Subject: Thanks For The Reply
Message:
I need a relationship....tell me little about your self."

So dear deluded Tom, who doesn't read very carefully, will get this:

From: cscp189704
Subject: Did you really read it?
Message:
I quite definitely said in my profile that I don't want a relationship as I'm here for 'just friends', and I don't reply to people asking me for anything romantic.
The reason you got an answer is that I wasn't sure what you wanted.
I have to pass, but thanks anyway for trying.
Best wishes.

GADZOOX another one ...

2007-10-01T02:18:00.000-07:00

This guy is sincere enough, but HE DOESN'T READ. What does it take to get across to these fellas that they're wasting their time on me?
By the way, now and then I get mail from men who DO want to be just friends (at least that's what they say), so those guys I will answer. I always send a disclaimer in the form of a 'thank you for paying attention, other guys keep trying to pick me up'. .. If the emailer has such an agenda, he won't write back. It's an excellent screening tool ... to screen out the tools.

The 'with it' guys will keep in touch because they were upfront. I've made some new friends even tho' it took patience to weed through the cornfield.
__________________________________
(http://www.pricelesspartner.com/)
"From: *****_9
Subject: hello
Received: 01.10.07 - 19:08
Hello Dear, How are you doing? I Guess fine, if so thanks be to God. I'm just new on the site trying to see if I will meet the kind of woman that I want. I was introduced to a site by a good friend of mine who meet his wife from there then I decided to give it a short and see what our good Lord can provide for me. Anyway let me tell you about my self. My name is Eddie, __years old. Divorced, energetic, being sincere, caring, lovely, God fearing, Honest with great sense of humor ready to relocate any time once I find my match; I like going out for a swim, Traveling, I would like to have a solid and rooted relationship with you, which I believe it can start from here. Anyway let get to know each other maybe our good Lord has something special for us in near future. Please tell me more about yourself and in return, I will tell you about myself. I will also send you my picture on your request. looking forward hear from you soon. You can contact through my private email address *****@yahoo.com God bless you. Your Sincerely E***e"

Toldya, sometimes it's lots at once.

2007-09-29T17:14:00.001-07:00

This guy's letter was almost too nice to pass up, but I did at least send him a thank you. It's the line (in red) that got my attention and warranted a response...
___________________________________
"From: cscp*****
Subject: Hi,
Message: Hi, I read your ad and I'd like to use this opportunity to let you know that I love your profile and I'll truly like to be your friend, if you let me that is...... I a very strange way, I feel very attracted to you and all that went to my mind was to write and just let you know about it... I hope we'll get to something tangible as I am looking forward to knowing you, this is true and I speak from the heart. I am a black male, simple, truthful, funny, affectionate, straight to the point and most of all, I am capable of falling in love with the right woman that vibrates at my same frequency and I think that you are that kind of lady I currently reside in Banjul, The Gambia, a small tourist city in the most westerly part of West Africa with lots of sunshine, beach life and beautiful nature; its people are very friendly. I'll stop here for now, wishing a most lovely ! day and anticipating your soonest response.please l will want you to email me through my email box which is ****@hotmail.com
Cheers"

Here's an exchange that I felt deserved attention ...

2007-09-29T10:58:00.000-07:00

This guy is from 'Plentyoffish'. He wrote me first of all to ask my birthday. I looked at his profile and it says 'other religion', so I asked him what that means to him. His response is exactly my reason for scoping this out: I don't want to waste time debating religion, especially from a new age, universalist, etc .. point of view .. I get very quickly weary of the political types who consider themselves worldly, sophisticated ... and are therefore unteachable.

This guy's attitude LOUDLY demonstrates why I'm wise to avoid anything further!
(his posts will be in green, mine in purple, in order of correspondence)

Pay close attention to the rapidly-accelerated intensity of such a brief interaction:
_______________________________________________________
From: *oc*
Subject: *hey
Sent Date: 9/29/2007 1:54:10 AM
you are my age....
my birthday is april 5th.....when is yours....??
g

From: Key_Player
Subject: march 21 ..
Sent Date: 9/29/2007 2:50:08 AM
I noticed it says 'other religion' on your profile: what does that mean for you?

From: *oc*
Subject: RE:march 21 ..
Sent Date: 9/29/2007 8:44:31 AM
it means i subscribe to the spirit of the law not the letter of the law...
or,
it means the commonalities of religions i follow....the same truth within ALL religions...
they are all saying the same thing....they are just using different terms....god, alah, the tao,the great white spirit,all-that-is...etc, etc...all refer to the same force or energy...
other religion means....a catholic shouldn,t say a native african will go to hell because he has never heard of the word ....jesus and is therefore a heathen
so...an allowance for all religions means ..."other"...
g

From: Key_Player
Subject: RE:RE:march 21 ..
Sent Date: 9/29/2007 10:11:17 AM
ahhh. I see....
well, in all fairness I ought to tell you that my faith is of the deeply Christian, and I'm not sure we'd necessarily see eye-to-eye on this level (I'm of the conviction that if someone has not put their trust in Jesus, they cannot see God, because Jesus IS God!) so perhaps as friends we'd do better, as long as we steer clear of religious matters?
If I dated someone, a shared belief base is basically wanted in order to prevent that fundamental conflict.
whatya t'ink?

From: *oc*
Subject: what ya t'ink
Sent Date: 9/29/2007 10:51:49 AM
dating???
hard to do with the distance....i'm in vancouver...
jesus....is my hero...the best teacher i have ever known...
is he god? yes!!!
you know why they killed him????
because in john 10:26
he said.....THAT YE ARE GODS
he said all of humanity were gods not just himself....even according to the old testament scriptures it was written so...
but the pharasee's couldn't take it!!
they were not able to endure HIS knowledge....as he said...you can't put new wine in old skins....they will burst
so the religious priests of the time MURDERED him....
that is why i am not religious but very spiritual...
the sabbath said you should not heal on the sabbath day....but jesus did !!!
therefore jesus was spiritual and not dogmaticly,rigidly religious...
if you are a christian...you should love your enemies....the usa is a religious people...their money says...in god we trust....and yet they have murdered innocent women and children in iraq in the name of god.....see how people USE religion and dont understand it...
do good unto those who would harm you, pray for those....
as you so you reap....that is pure
how can you say jesus,jesus ...go to church and then have anger in your heart....these people are not practising christians.....by word yes...not by deed...
g

From: Key_Player
Subject: this isn't a political thing with me.
Sent Date: 9/29/2007 10:57:27 AM
dunno why the reference to the USA is there..
I'm just not into discussing the religion part of it. like you, I'm spiritual but I don't care for the way man has distorted it.
however, it sounds like we're not very well-matched even to get along as buddies, I do appreciate your letter.. and as for asking about the dating, don't make it seem so incredulous that I would ask; how could I know what you're here for? :-)
anyway I'm going to take my leave here; I have a lot of things in my life that are stressful and I do apologize but debating religious motives is just too much for my nerves, I wish you well.
KP
________________________________________________
Wow ... I've learned over a little while on these sites that the ones claiming the most expansive religious tolerance turn out to be the LEAST tolerant of those who profess a specific faith in Christ.
I don't want to turn my blog into a battleground; I merely am saying that I have to steer clear of the reverse example of a holy roller: someone who demands a complete melting pot of all faiths, and gets THIS ANGRY when a person points to JESUS.

Some of you readers may point out "but YOU brought up religion, he didn't". Fair enough, but since his profile left that detail so ambiguous, I had to ask. My experience is that those with 'other religion' would not let up on the debate, so I wanted to see if this guy is of the debating kind, which .. as we see here, he is.

This (OH, and from someone else, a wink) ... clueless, clueless ..

2007-09-29T10:29:00.000-07:00

*sigh* .. ANOTHER scam. This one's from a LADY!! People just CAN NOT read.
____________________________________________
(http://www.singles.org/)
"From: cscp******
Subject: Dearest In Christ
Message: Dearest In Christ May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God and the communion of the Holy Ghost be with you as you read this message, it is obvious, that this message will meet you with great surprise. I am Mrs Kate Donald from the Republic of Seychelles. I am married to Engr. Joseph Donald who was the Chief Executive Director of an Oil and Gas producing Company here in Cote D' Ivoire for eleven years before he died on the 27th of November 2005. We were married for eleven years with-out a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his sudden death, we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $6.2M U.S Dollars in a Security Company here in Abidjan Cote D' Ivoire, and adviced me that he used my name as the next of kin and that the security company officials does not know the real content of the trunk box because he comorflage it as (FAMILY VALUABLES AND TREASURES), and it is still with the Security Company up till now. Recently, my Doctor told me that i have serious sickness which is cancer problem, the one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition now, I have decided to donate this fund to a church or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church or individual that will use this fund for the helping of the orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained. For i know that my sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in me in the kingdom of God according to the book of [Romans 8:18]. Therefore i am giving out this donation in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, for it is written that i should give, and it will be given to me. Blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and I don't want my husband’s efforts to be in vain. I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. Please, let my donation be in secret between you and i, as it is written in the book of [ Matthew 6:3 - 4].That when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand to know what your right hand is doing, that your charitable deed may be in secret;and your father who sees in secret will himself reward you openly. I am not afraid of death since I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord, because the Lord has been my strenght and hope As soon as I receive your reply in acceptance of my donation, I shall give you the contact of the security company here in Abidjan Cote D' Ivoire. I want you and the church to always pray for me . My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that Wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life,and also remember me in prayers. May Almighty God make you an eternal excellency and a joy of many generations....Amen. Please, Get back to me on this my private email address thus; *^*^*^^@yahoo.fr Hoping to receive your reply and remain blessed in the Lord. Yours Sincerely in Christ, Mrs *^*^*^*^*^*(at)yahoo.fr"
____________________________________________
OY!!!! ... where do these people come up with this idea, and how does it persist? I've noticed this is ALSO from Abidjan Cote D' Ivoire. See below, tho' that was on another site. Hmmm... could be another, or could be the same individual(s) under aliases.
In any case, THEY GET REPORTED ...

OH COME ON.

2007-09-26T08:31:00.000-07:00

.. another 'virtual kiss'!! (http://www.yourchristianzone.com/)... courtesy of an eager, sincere, and unfortunately misguided fella from Kuwait. Alas, I had to block him, or he would continue to send me 'kisses', there was more than one.

There must be a culture chasm here to explain the apparent inability to comprehend a few simple, terse words in my profile:
"DO NOT SEND ME KISSES!!"

I'm more convinced now that these guys do not read profiles.

HA!! ... Spoke too soon. :-)

2007-09-24T18:09:00.000-07:00

Here's the latest ...
(http://www.yourchristianzone.com)
_________________________
"From:Lemo*****
Subject:hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii read it plz
Received:25.09.07 - 1:45
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii saw ur profile and intrested in u"
_________________________
He may have 'seen' it but obviously didn't COMPREHEND it ..

Nothing new ...

2007-09-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

The messages seem to come in droves or not at all. I wonder if there's a pattern to the timing, and I wouldn't see it yet because I put this up just a week or so ago so I wouldn't yet see any consistency in email activity.

It's sort of unfortunate for the chaps, really; most of them seem genuine enough, but when they fail to read the most intrinsic part of the supposed reason they claim to LIKE ME, I think they have only themselves to blame. I made it very clear.

Still, I know that many guys don't even bother to read them; they see a picture and then just send a hopeful blurb with lots of mush and promises. What gets me is that they apparently have time to draft their messages in long paragraphs that actually look well-thought-out, BUT NO TIME TO READ THE PROFILE OF THOSE THEY EMAIL???!! ..

I think they make ONE letter, and send it to as many as they can. It's so impersonal that now I feel even less obligated to acknowledge it!

Don't worry, my dear readers. I'll get others and will post them here. For now, please feel free to remark on those already up!

Ohhh, here's an opportunity of a lifetime!!

2007-09-21T03:10:00.000-07:00

(http://www.yourchristianzone.com)
_________________________
NickName:simon4****
Sex:male
Age:uknown
From:Cote d'Ivoire
Date:09-21-07
Subject: From Abidjan Cote d' Ivoire
From Abidjan Cote d' Ivoire West Africa. Attention: Respectful Greetings and How are you today, Iam simon olubuihe The Only Son of chief late Ibrahim olubuihe. Please my dear I would like you to permit me to apply through this medium for your co-operation and to secure an opportunity to invest and do joint relationship and business with you in your country. I have a substantial capital I honourably Inherited from my late father late Chief Olubuihe who was minister of Interior and deal in Cocao and coffee platation and share from family Gold, diamond Minining site.The Epmigo rebels killed Him recently in political crisis in our country that have resulted to war since this past two years. I intend to invest this fund in profitable areas in your country into a very lucratives business venture of which you are to advise and execute the said venture over there for the mutual benefits of both of us . Most especially is for you to help me come over to your base if possible for You be able co-operate with me to become my business partner in your country and create ideas on how money will be invested, properly manage...
________________________________________________________
... oh goody, just the way to begin my day. SPAM! ... and his letter was so long they cut it off.
Nice spelling too... ya, this looks legit, ya think??

But ...you DIDN'T read it!

2007-09-20T19:15:00.000-07:00

I'm not even gonna preamble any more.
(http://www.singles.org/)
_________________________
cscp******
Subject: Hello
How are you doing today hope cool if so am happy to know that.I am KR young man in search of a life partner someone that is loving and caring someone that has the fear of God i saw your profile on Singles.org and felt interested in you.If you interested in what i have just said then you can contact me at *****@****.com i am online currently and on yahoo messenger also we can chat or exchange e-mails.I hope to hear from you real soon do stay cool and have a lovely time hope to hear from you real soon.. KR
___________________________________________________
Oh, but I actually should put additional details of my profile (which he claims to have seen). This is what apparently is wildly attractive to these guys!
See how hard I try to look my best for all those hopeful wannabe future husbands?
"I'm overweight. I don't get out much to exercise, and my apartment is very cluttered. I am stubborn, moody and I don't take much of life seriously ..."

OH Brother ...

2007-09-18T18:56:00.000-07:00

OK! Here are the two newest messages, in order as I saw them ...

(www.singles.org)
_________________________

"From:cscp******
Subject: Hello my beloved
Date: 2007-09-18
Hello my beloved I saw your profile and your photo and the first thought was, i must write you from My heart, My desires? I am looking for someone special, with many romantic feelings in ones life, but also with the look for all important feeling in life Perhaps are you are a man I am looking for in my heart. My heart is full with love to share with you. I strongly beleive in true genuine love and romance. The most beautiful present for me is when you give me your heart and your soul and your love, so I am waiting for this.I am faithful and very generous to those I love and care about in my heart,i am God fearing Man. I want a woman i can be proud of and i can kindly call her my Queen who is ready to love me and cherish and i will love me with all her heart for whom she is to my heart, whose life experience can allow her to appreciate it. So my sweet Queen of my heart?, i will stop here now. Always Brad Kay Please you can reach me through this yahoo id bradkay19500@yahoodotcom..and i will send you some of my picture and you can reach me easily..thank you so much!!!"

________________________________________________
(http://www.yourchristianzone.com/)
_________________________

NickName:******
Sex:male
Age: unknown
From:United States
Date:09-18-07
Subject:Hello

Hello, I am singles and i am search of a trustwoorthy companion someone i can talk freely to with the litle i understand from your profile i wish we could be more than a perfect match with all life.
John
________________________________________________

So what could be THAT HARD to grasp?? .. how can it be so difficult for a person to understand that another is not seeking dates?

.......... Cindy! Any thoughts?

Now ~ I need this disclaimer:
First of all, I use these sites for myself, but I'm not trying to promote them. The only reason for displaying the links is to differentiate the messages' origin. Also, I believe it's not wrong to look for 'just friends' if the site itself offers that option! Men getting upset with me for refusing their seductions are foolish, and wasting their own time, as my profile is very clearly NOT seeking romantic opportunities.

Then, as readers may have seen prior to this, I get blasted by strangers ... oh JOY..

YIKES!!!

2007-09-18T17:23:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it ~ I'm being criticized by people who think I should jump into the arms of every guy who offers to marry me. Some of these comments!!! *sheeesh* ... one or two are from my best friend Cindy, but there's a couple of them with loose wingnuts ...

Today on 'yourchristianzone' I got "kissed" .. ARG!

2007-09-16T22:02:00.000-07:00

There's no text so I can't post that here.

On 'singles.org' I got both a 'wink' (which always means the guy is trying to prompt me to contact him, and it's not because he'd otherwise get charged, because that's a FREE SITE) ... and a note from someone else saying he'd like the honour of being my friend, and to see 'where God will lead us to' .. ???

Here it is:
(www.singles.org)
_________________________
"From: cscp******
Subject: Hello
Message:
Hi How are you doing on earth, hope God is doing His will in your life? May i have the honor to be your friend? Then share the Word of God together to see where God will lead us to. I will be glad to read from you. Here is e-mail : ckenxie@hotmail.com Stay Blessed Chris"
_________________________

... and to just where does he imagine it could possibly lead? ..

Now some of you reading this might think I'm wasting people's time by signing onto these services when I'm not interested in dating. Well, if the option of 'friends/buddies/pals' wasn't there, I would not use their site.

The idea is that if an online social community offers the prerogative to be there for just friends, I choose to avail myself of it in order to acquire some new contacts. If there are guys who feel like I'm teasing them by being there but not seeking their attention, that's not my problem.

My profile makes it very clear I'm only there for platonic reasons, so they have nobody but themselves to blame if they keep hitting on me!

Here's another one!

2007-09-15T11:13:00.001-07:00

This is from "pricelesspartner.com". First see that profile, then read the message sent to me. While I was typing this, someone instant-messaged me on the same site, trying to pick me up. I blocked him. However, for some reason blocking him does not prevent him from trying to IM me! Weird .. because he tried a second time.
__________________________________

Here's the gist of my "pricelesspartner.com" profile ~
"Key_Player
PLEASE, GUYS, LOCAL FRIENDS ONLY.
All about me:
Guys, I'd rather just be your friend. If you're seeking more, I wish you all the best and happy fishing... (what part of this is so hard to understand??)

--
Now here's the newest email ~
(www.pricelesspartner.com)
"From: ********
Subject: Hai
Received: 14.09.07 - 19:04
I peeped in to ur profile and that looked great and cute. I wish to have a nice relationship with u if the same from u too send me a reply"
________________________________________________________
... see?
Lack of comprehension, or a delusion of irresistible persuasiveness. Whatever it is, these guys are teeming with it. I don't overlook the compliments, but in all fairness if my profile says 'no' to more than friends, I don't owe anything to people who disregard it and send me offers anyway. If they're going to be that obtuse, a bit of rejection won't make a dent.

Sheesh, why don't people PAY ATTENTION????

2007-09-13T15:14:00.000-07:00

I like making friends online.
Under the right circumstances, a friendship could develop into a deeper connection but I NEVER START THERE. For this reason, I may maintain a small number of accounts on sites that are, I grant, chiefly for dating purposes. However, each one of them lists 'friends' as an option for use, and so I exercise the prerogative to limit my contacts accordingly.

I wonder if anybody besides myself is primarily interested in simply getting acquainted with others for its own sake. About 90% of those who email me on any one of my memberships are guys who just don't seem to grasp the concept of a woman who ISN'T online looking for a new man!!

This blog is to document those instances which glaringly belie the intentions of such men as who don't even seem to have taken a moment to READ THE PROFILE.

I deleted the messages from today's lot, but from now on I will keep them and copy/paste them here, along with whatever reply I felt appropriate to send. Only the most polite are answered. Those whose emails clearly indicate my profile was dismissed are DELETED WITHOUT A REPLY.

UPDATE:
Here's one I got today, and I added a previous email that hadn't been deleted. First of all, see what I stated in my profile, then read the message from my wannabe suitor.

This is what my "yourchristianzone.com" profile says ~
"PLEASE, DO NOT SEEK ME FOR ROMANCE!!

**** IMPORTANT ********ALL EMAILS INDICATING LACK OF ATTENTION TO MY PROFILE WILL BE DELETED WITHOUT A REPLY!!!
I am NOT here for romantic reasons. I only want to make PLATONIC FRIENDS, NO MORE.If you email me for partnership, I will not answer.Please DO NOT send me KISSES! ---Ham and Cheeze on Wry ..
Silly, moody and introspective. I have been told I 'think too much'. Sometimes that's a hindrance to merely being in the moment; other times it keeps me from losing my marbles.---Footer: I guess I have to say this more strictly, since some have not understood I AM *NOT AVAILABLE* FOR A ROMANTIC PARTNERSHIP.
:-)"
__________________________________

This is today's email ~
(www.pricelesspartner.com)
_________________________
"NickName:********
Sex:male
Age:uknown
From:GhanaDate:09-15-07
Subject:best
l love you and l saw your profile and decided to drop you as my best love and l want you tell me something about and l will so willing to marry you as my wife if only you agreed of my view and l will make you any kind of feeling you need as my wife."

.... uh .. what?

Here's another in this service who clearly lacks observation or comprehension skills (edited) ~
(www.pricelesspartner.com)
_________________________
"NickName:*********
Sex:male
Age:27
From:GhanaDate:09-10-07
Subject:friend
hi,
am john francis,i want to be your best friend forlife,i like listening to romantic love songs and watching loving films and singe.that mine number,00233 27 772 6274 or 00233 24 668 7450 johnablefrancis@yahoo.com

bye"
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Gaaaahhhhh!! What is it with these people? ...OH well.