MORONLINE: my "Culprit Collection"

This blog began with letters I'd received from those on the social sites who don't read profiles, so they emailed me needlessly. It has veered into complete idiot territory, as now the bulk of these guys (and girls!) are clearly employed by swindlers. They do NOT pay attention to profiles, and they assume they are the only ones doing it & that their messages will be believable.

THE TITLE, "MORONLINE" SIMPLY PUTS 'MORON' AND 'ONLINE' TOGETHER.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Now I'm being wooed by a prince.
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Mail from prince22love (28/04/10 @ 15:54)

Subject: helo

Message:
Calvary greetings,
How are you doing, my name is Prince , i'm from marseille france , waiting to hear from you soon
Remain bless
Prince.
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.. if he's wealthy, it's not in information!
I'm supposed to be interested in him because he lives in France. Where does he imagine we're gonna meet?

Friday, March 5, 2010

Uhm ... Dude has deja vu?

"Mail from reallover (23/01/10 @ 19:08)
Subject: Hi
Message:
Hello greetings from Ken..........how are you doing?....i hope you are fine...?

I am ken by name am a widower with no kids...lost my wife 2yrs ago...and since then i haven't been into any relationship...i am a kind of man that is young at heart and fun to be with.i am not the controlling type.and am very honest in all i do.i work as a petrol chemical engineer.,and i am living alone.

i saw you profile and that's why i am writing you. I am looking for a loving woman who is his honest and ready for a serious relationship.i am ready to relocate for that special woman if i meet her......i hope you are that woman.

i would like to hear from you and see what you think about all this....?you can write me back on my private email.....smithken10@yahoo.com

Regards Ken
"
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He just SENT that a couple days ago.
... or should I say "it" just sent that?
:-)

Friday, January 29, 2010

".... they're ba-a-a-a-a-ack..."
Yes, the Yahoos have returned.
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Mail from reallover (23/01/10 @ 19:08)

Subject: Hi

Message:
Hello greetings from Ken..........how are you doing?....i hope you are fine...?

I am ken by name am a widower with no kids...lost my wife 2yrs ago...and since then i haven't been into any relationship...i am a kind of man that is young at heart and fun to be with.i am not the controlling type.and am very honest in all i do.i work as a petrol chemical engineer.,and i am living alone.

i saw you profile and that's why i am writing you. I am looking for a loving woman who is his honest and ready for a serious relationship.i am ready to relocate for that special woman if i meet her......i hope you are that woman.

i would like to hear from you and see what you think about all this....?you can write me back on my private email.....smithken10@yahoo.com

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Why don't they pay attention .. *sigh*

If these guys put half as much effort into READING as they do into WRITING, they'd save themselves years.
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Message:
Hello!!
How are you, I must say you look very pretty and I like you,
Do you mind we become friends and get to know each other well?

Please if you don't mind am looking forward to read a line or two from you OK..

Thanks and have the most precious day/night.
stay blessed.
BC
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Come on, fellas. You can do better than this! Why not pick a woman who's actually LOOKING for a partner?
Sheeeesh!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Methinx same package in different wrapper, no?
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Mail from t12 (18/09/09 @ 02:39)

Subject: HI

Message:
How are you doing today?
U got a nice pics on here and a nice profile....i would be happy if could be friends or some thing on here u got my attention this evenning with your beautiful profile.
Let me know if you would be on line so we can chat more now? here is my IM do add me up so we could chat:
COLE.TERRY91@yahoo.com
I will be rite here hoping to read your mail....thanks and God bless.
TERRY.

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I notice the '12' in the username, which, coupled with the less-common name "Terry" might lead one to suspect a second attempt. He likes my 'pictures' but I have only ONE picture, and he has completely overlooked the flat-out REJECTION OF DATING SITUATION statement I keep making.

BOT.
.. *sigh* .. a bot by any other name is still a YAHOO.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Thomeone'th got a lithp?

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Mail from b12 (16/09/09 @ 00:33)

Subject: Hello Beloveth

Message:
I am Terry from New york i am a vry intrested on your profile and your pics..i think you will be a nice perosn to meet..please i would b grateful if we can get quainted on here see if we can get to meet..Thanks for reading my mail and God Bless,

Terry.
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... beloveth?

Saturday, July 18, 2009

I rest my case ~ bot city.

He thinks writing from the UK will make people think he's British. Hmmmm.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Mail from markjones12 (18/07/09 @ 14:32)

Subject: DEARLY BELOVED.I AM INTERESTED IN YOU

Message:
DEARLY BELOVED
i am mark from uk.i am written you in good faith and positive heart.as i am a single father of a daugter.i am written you in regard the fact i am single now.and i will love you to know you and i will be praying that this bring to the end of my search.
Here is my id markjones7714@yahoo.com.
i pray that you have the same heart as i do.i will be waitin for ur reply.
Remain blessed
from mark
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.. after I clicked 'No Thanks', I thought about maybe writing and saying I clicked the wrong button; I meant to click 'reply'. Hmmm. Ladies & Gentlemen, shall I?