MORONLINE: my "Culprit Collection"

This blog began with letters I'd received from those on the social sites who don't read profiles, so they emailed me needlessly. It has veered into complete idiot territory, as now the bulk of these guys (and girls!) are clearly employed by swindlers. They do NOT pay attention to profiles, and they assume they are the only ones doing it & that their messages will be believable.

THE TITLE, "MORONLINE" SIMPLY PUTS 'MORON' AND 'ONLINE' TOGETHER.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Methinx same package in different wrapper, no?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Mail from t12 (18/09/09 @ 02:39)

Subject: HI

Message:
How are you doing today?
U got a nice pics on here and a nice profile....i would be happy if could be friends or some thing on here u got my attention this evenning with your beautiful profile.
Let me know if you would be on line so we can chat more now? here is my IM do add me up so we could chat:
COLE.TERRY91@yahoo.com
I will be rite here hoping to read your mail....thanks and God bless.
TERRY.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
I notice the '12' in the username, which, coupled with the less-common name "Terry" might lead one to suspect a second attempt. He likes my 'pictures' but I have only ONE picture, and he has completely overlooked the flat-out REJECTION OF DATING SITUATION statement I keep making.

BOT.
.. *sigh* .. a bot by any other name is still a YAHOO.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Thomeone'th got a lithp?

-----------------------------------------------------------
Mail from b12 (16/09/09 @ 00:33)

Subject: Hello Beloveth

Message:
I am Terry from New york i am a vry intrested on your profile and your pics..i think you will be a nice perosn to meet..please i would b grateful if we can get quainted on here see if we can get to meet..Thanks for reading my mail and God Bless,

Terry.
-----------------------------------------------------------
... beloveth?

Saturday, July 18, 2009

I rest my case ~ bot city.

He thinks writing from the UK will make people think he's British. Hmmmm.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Mail from markjones12 (18/07/09 @ 14:32)

Subject: DEARLY BELOVED.I AM INTERESTED IN YOU

Message:
DEARLY BELOVED
i am mark from uk.i am written you in good faith and positive heart.as i am a single father of a daugter.i am written you in regard the fact i am single now.and i will love you to know you and i will be praying that this bring to the end of my search.
Here is my id markjones7714@yahoo.com.
i pray that you have the same heart as i do.i will be waitin for ur reply.
Remain blessed
from mark
------------------------------------------------------------------
.. after I clicked 'No Thanks', I thought about maybe writing and saying I clicked the wrong button; I meant to click 'reply'. Hmmm. Ladies & Gentlemen, shall I?

Thursday, July 9, 2009

No excuses!!

This is indisputable, solid proof they either don't read my profile, or don't care what it says. I do realize the emails are generated by employees of a scamming operation. I know if they don't get a response from me, they just move onto the next address.
Still, it's pathetic, ya know! Trying to take advantage of lonely people is just disgusting. If I replied to any of these guys, they would follow it up with increasingly more lovey-dovey messages, attempting to 'sweeten the pot' and eventually start claiming financial need.

Maybe I should just let one think I'm interested ... Hmmm... just to see how far they take it; will they request money?
DUH.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mail from felix15012 (09/07/09 @ 18:50)

Subject: fellylove_nelson@yahoo.com

Message:
fellylove_nelson@yahoo.com
My name is Felix,i saw your profile today (fusion101.com) and became intrested in you,i will also like to know you the more,and i want you to send an email to my email address so i can give you my picture for you to know whom i am. Here is my email address (fellylove_nelson@yahoo.com) I believe we can move from here!
I am waiting for your mail to my email address above.
Felix.
Remeber the distance or colour does not matter but love matters alots,this my email address(fellylove_nelson@yahoo.com).
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is my profile blurb, updated to inform these people of why I'm on that site:
"
I AM HERE FOR FRIENDS ONLY.
I keep getting mail from men who tell me they have seen my profile, love it, and want to connect romantically with me.
If you DO read the profile, you will see that
I AM HERE FOR FRIENDS ONLY.
I am not seeking a partner, a husband, a lover, etc. I just want platonic buddies.

I ALREADY HAVE SOMEONE AT HOME, and I AM HERE FOR FRIENDS ONLY.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you email me anyway, looking for love, I will send a 'No Thank You" letter, and/or block you.

You have been warned."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So .. after having worded it this way, I still receive this sort of mail, I have NO SYMPATHY for the dudes.

Friday, July 3, 2009

What? No Yahoo address?!

Uniquely for me, I guess, even if he obviously hasn't read the profile.
---------------------------------------------
Mail from kr (03/07/09 @ 18:00)

Subject: hi

Message:
HELLO,
ricky is my name,am a 45 yr old engineer living in UK and am single too.i saw your profile,read it loved it and wish to know you more and see Gods will for us and our future.thanks and have a nice weekend as i await your reply.stay bless in jesus name amen.
REGARDS,
rICKY
---------------------------------------------
.... oh wait: that's not unique. Nobody pays attention to the profile. What was I thinking?

Monday, June 22, 2009

Again, someone does not read.

I wonder how many guys get anywhere on that site. This one must have been striking out over and over, so he's getting desperate enough to ignore the profile ...
------------------------------------------------------------
Mail from Mightytosave (23/06/09 @ 06:24)

Subject: hello,can we?

Message:
hello pretty

I’m not looking for someone for marriage, I’m looking for potential - someone to spend the rest of my life with joy and accomplishement and having viewed your profile, I do believe you are my type of woman.What would work best for me are shared core values and attitudes, sufficient goals and interests in common, an ability to expand each other's worlds (via our differences) and a partner with a terrific sense of humour. I live a responsible christain life and the same in a partner is essential to me.I’m passionate about a lot of things the environment, dancing, cooking, mountain sunsets, Columbia County and most animals (especially Dogs- not to mention the skunk and the woodchuck in my brush pile upstate). The Slow Food approach to eating is becoming of increasingly attractive, and learning to meditate in the word of God day and night.I dont fansy the proud and takes exception to that. christ is humble and humility should be embraced by my ideal woman.
if you do think you can get along, then write me through my yahoo inbox..div7711@yahoo.com.
keep smiling......
Divine
------------------------------------------------------------
... "Divine"???? OY.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Nice or not .. READWILLYA

What I don't get is this: if they didn't look at my profile, where do they get the idea I have these virtues, and if they do see it ~ and my *lovely* (NOT) pic, why waste their time?
-----------------------
Mail from c_d (21/05/09 @ 11:33)

Subject: hello

Message:
Am C R,I am a single with one child name Johny.I am a honest, kind, sincere man who is understanding.Am fair in complexion and am a little bit tall. I am romantic, loving, caring, focus, hard working and a nice gentleman.Kindly tell more about your self too

With Love
C.

-------------------------
... boggles the mind.