MORONLINE: my "Culprit Collection"

This blog began with letters I'd received from those on the social sites who don't read profiles, so they emailed me needlessly. It has veered into complete idiot territory, as now the bulk of these guys (and girls!) are clearly employed by swindlers. They do NOT pay attention to profiles, and they assume they are the only ones doing it & that their messages will be believable.

THE TITLE, "MORONLINE" SIMPLY PUTS 'MORON' AND 'ONLINE' TOGETHER.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

8-o ~~~~ !!!!

OY.
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Mail from gamrlonely (28/09/08 @ 22:16)

Subject: Hello Dear

Message:
Hello Dear
I am Jeff By name, A.K.A Mr. Right. I'm a full body build man, cute and good looking; I have Brown eyes, brown hair and 5.9ft. I am into computer hardware. I like traveling and making new friends because its fun at times knowing someone new and special. I'm seeking for a woman with a beautiful heart, who loves intimacy and caring, a woman who's ready to give as much Love i will give to her. I do not want Ms. Perfect, what i actually want is Ms. Right, so she can be my better half, so she can be neck while am the head. I Love to hold hands while walking on the streets, I love to hug and to spoil as well. I am very passionate, emotional and affectionate person.
Right now, i live by myself and searching for my soul mate, someone i will spend my eternity with, My favorite color is Pink. My Hopes and dreams in life is to find my soul mate someday, that’s why i decided to try the online dating, though am new to this and want to see how things go on here. I’ve been single for a while now trying to find a real love. I like playing basketball, volleyball and soccer. Like going to the Gym and exercising most of the weekends.
As I came across your profile you seem to posses some sought of magnetic charm that elicited my interest and fascination. My admiration and physical attraction drew forth my immediate response without hesitation because you appeal to my dreams, desire and taste. My sudden instinctive response was based primarily on a spontaneous mutual attraction which rendered me helpless and unable to resist communicating with you immediately, please afford me the opportunity to know you. I would like to be the love you are looking and you be the one that I am looking for.
Distance is not a barrier as long as our hearts connect as one. Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be, Distance does not matter if two hearts are loyal to one another. your beauty and sweetness captured my heart, Only God's creations can compare to the beauty that I see in you, The greatest gift to my eyesight is having my eyes set on you. They say, 'A picture is worth a thousand words,' but when I saw yours, I was speechless. If you are a paid member, you can send me your email so i can email you some pictures of me.
I wait to receive your letters soon.
Jeff

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.. and what IS this over-familiarity with a total stranger? ... "Dear"???! Honestly, do these guys really believe it's a turn-on?

... wait: am I SHOUTING??

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